Truth be told, when I selected this book, I was a little worried. I’ve probably started and put down Middlesex five times over the past ten years, never getting further than a chapter or two. However, I spent about two weeks trying to make my selection for the book club, and Middlesex kept popping into my mind. Either a friend was reading it, I overheard a conversation about it, or the final tipping point, it fell off the shelf, barely missing my head. I took it as a sign I should probably just read the darn thing and decided to commit, and here we are a month later.
I have to just come right out and say that I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s so funny to me that it took nearly a decade to finally read it, but I think in a way I’m glad it did. Maybe the timing had to be right…or my perspective had to be just right…or maybe I just put too much thought into things. Haha. But really, I absolutely devoured the book; the intricate story lines chronicling generations, the characters who peeled away more of themselves chapter after chapter, the descriptions of the mundane that Eugenides somehow made magical. Reading this book was an amazing experience.
And I think that for many people who pick up this novel, they too will think of it more as an experience than as just reading a book. As with anything, I’m sure some won’t like it, but if you do manage to fall in between the pages and get lost for a while, you’ll probably come out a little bit different than you were when you started. And isn’t that the purpose of a good book? To get lost, then find bits of yourself changed on your way out? I know for me, this book did exactly that.
So let’s begin. I feel a little nervous trying to simplify this book into bullet points– I really think I could talk about it for days– but in the spirit of conciseness, I’m going to limit it to just six or seven ideas. I’ll number each discussion point (some of these just thoughts, some questions), so if you’d like to number any of your corresponding comments, that would be great. Or if you just feel like writing your thoughts freestyle, that’s awesome too. I can’t wait to hear what you think. And for those who haven’t yet finished the book, be aware that there are spoilers below.
1) First, when you turned the final page, what were your first thoughts? Did you love the book? Did you feel drained or invigorated? Did you feel satisfied by the ending? What character did you love the most?
2) Let’s talk about the writing. The first thing that struck me was the narration style. This was what threw me off the first few times I tried to read the book. It begins before Calliope’s birth, and from there comes to the present, to the past again, and so on and so forth. At first this was off-putting to me. But as I read, it was like all the little puzzle pieces Eugenides gives us– a piece here, a piece there, something that might resemble a piece way back there– they all started to move towards one another, making sense of a seemingly confusing start. It was beautifully epic, and I was surprised by how well it all came together. So I ask you– did the narration style bother you? Did you enjoy the back and forth? For me, I feel like because it was such a long book (500+ pages), it was a welcome shift. I enjoyed having so much background and history (I can’t help but think of the immense research that went into writing this), and I loved seeing how it played out as we flipped back to the future.
3) Do you see yourself in Calliope or his journey at all? I feel like although some might not initially see any way they could relate to this character, that almost every single person can indeed relate in some way. For me, it was in that sometimes painful, curious, stumbling coming of age/coming into your own sexuality. From my point of view– someone whose gender identity matches the gender assigned at birth– the whole teenage journey was already bumpy enough. It’s very hard for me to imagine how difficult it must have been for Cal, someone whose gender identity did not match the one assigned. But I think whoever you are, there are similarities to be found in that awkward, universal experience of becoming who you will be. There are so many layers to it that are touched upon in the book– sexuality, friendship, parent/child relationships, puberty…and so I would love to know what part of Cal you related to most.
4) It was interesting to finish the book and look back at all of the relationships between words and symbols– Middlesex as the title and the street Calliope lived on, and really, being in the middle of his own “sex.” The motif of “middle” was prevalent throughout the novel, along with the theme of duality– one foot in and one foot out shown through cultures and time periods, relationships, and decisions. The silk worms– weaving their silk through the entire story; the Mulberry tree and its stages; Chapter 11 and his part in the family’s financial ruin/bankruptcy…but then also giving Cal the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start over as his brother. When you think of your own life, do you see any symbols like this– any recurring themes or running motifs? If you were to write the story of your life, can you step back and see any constants, any ideas that have had a place throughout your story?
5) Did you have a favorite passage (or passages) from the book? I dog-eared my copy like crazy, underlining and highlighting, but I think my very favorite quote is this:
“Emotions, in my experience, aren’t covered by single words. I don’t believe in “sadness,” “joy,” or “regret.” Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I’d like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, “the happiness that attends disaster.” Or: “the disappointment of sleeping with one’s fantasy.” I’d like to show how “intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members” connects with “the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age.” I’d like to have a word for “the sadness inspired by failing restaurants” as well as for “the excitement of getting a room with a minibar.” I’ve never had the right words to describe my life, and now that I’ve entered my story, I need them more than ever. ”
6) And then of course there’s the discussion of Dr. Luce. I’ve looked through some of the study guide that goes along with the book and had to stop and think about the question, “Was Dr. Luce the villain?” From my point of view, yes and no. I’m not sure if he was necessarily villainous as he was unethical. It was interesting to read from his perspective and imagine what he felt. Was he doing what he really felt was best for Cal, or was he doing what he felt was best for everyone else/society? The idea of surgeries like these taking place, either at birth or afterward, made me so upset. How terrible to have someone make a decision like that for you and to grow up never knowing the difference, but perhaps feeling different without knowing why. When I was looking through answers to this question, some readers also brought up Father Mike as a possible villain. For me, he definitely isn’t the villain either. So then is there one? Could the villain be more of an idea working against Cal? Society or society’s idea of “normal”? Old world medicine or time? What do you think?
7) And finally, a very broad question– what did you learn from Middlesex? I could go on about how introspective this book made me– thinking about my own adolescence, the sexual experiences I had, trying to put myself in totally different shoes and viewing my preteen and teenage years through that lens, but I’ll stop here and just say that yes, I definitely learned something. It also made me think back to when I had our first son, Henry. I posted something about finding out his gender via an anatomy scan, and one reader commented telling me that sex and gender did not necessarily go hand in hand. I was finding out the sex, not the gender. I didn’t know this prior to that comment, but I was grateful for that education. And so this novel reminds me of that. And other things too– about how so often we live in our own little world, blind to people who might be different than us, and how compassion and tolerance and choosing to learn about unknown things, rather than be scared of unknown things (or people or ideas) is paramount.
Thank you guys so much for reading this book with me this month, and thank you to Emma and Elsie for having me! As a former high school English teacher, writing out these discussion points has brought back many great memories, although I really would have loved to go on and on about so much more. I feel like I barely scratched the surface, especially when talking about Calliope’s family tree and all of the history preceding his birth. I can’t wait to chat more with you in the comments below though, and hopefully open up some additional avenues of thought too. xoxo. Dani (Come hang with me on Instagram!)
one of the best books I have ever read. Fantastic!
I love this book, glad to be reminded of it today through your article!
I never commented here before, but I feel like it now because to me the villain is clearly the division of people into two genders (and even sexes) at all! I used to work the slow tuesday evenings in the little bar of a LGBT social club and some people started coming frequently to talk and toss heavy thoughts around. The ones I remember the most, are the very young who did not match the sexe they wer born with at all. The thing they where struggling the most with: even if they would do everything possible to change their apperance – they would never reach their goal. There is no petit girl getting the apperance of a quarterback. A petit girl could make cool guy. But he will be petit. The voice of a boy that allready broke will be the broken voice of a girl. It always struck me as sad and unfair. These pictures of what is “manly” and “feminine”, they are the true villain! And funny: to you “Middlesex” meant beeing in the middle fo ones sex, to me it meant beeing in the middle inbetween sexes! Anyway, loved your post!
Nike
I read Middlesex some years ago. The thing that I most liked about it was the history of Detroit. I was born in Detroit and moved to a suburb when I was 12. I hardly knew any of the modern history of Detroit, but so many things fell into place when I read the book. Two things in particular – race and religion. I knew that labour was called up from the South, but I didn’t know that black people were segregated and had to live in particular areas. It was the beginning of the problems Detroit has with racial issues and the motor industry (the backbone of Detroit’s economy) has a lot of answer for in that respect.
I absolutely LOVED this book. Definitely Eugenides best work. Cal is a very dynamic narrator and the way that the story spans decades and generations is brilliant. Truly an epic story. And very Ovidian. As someone who has studied mythology, I enjoyed all the comparisons and allusions to myth most especially Ovid’s Metamorphosis, these made the story seem more legendary and relatable. Cal was most definitely an epic hero. We see him grow up, something happens where he has to come to terms with his own identity, he goes into the underworld, and then returns changed but triumphant.
Also as a native of the Metro-Detroit area, I really enjoyed the descriptions of the city and its troubled history. Very accurate and really hit home for me. My favorite passages from this novel are many but my favorite was towards the end about Detroit: Grow up in Detroit, and you understand the way of all things. Early on, you are put on close relations with entropy.”
Oh thats right, thanks so Much Danii.
Thank you
I read this book right after I read The Virgin Suicides (another fantastic read by Eugenides) about ten years ago and I remember it took me a lot longer than The Virgin Suicides. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy this book, because it’s incredible. I just remember focusing on all of the little details, themes, motifs, and the like mostly because I was still in school and analyzing like crazy. I’ve gotta say that if you enjoyed this, try The Virgin Suicides, even if you’ve already seen the Sofia Coppola movie. It’s a GREAT adaptation, but the way Eugenides writes breathes a whole new life into the story.
Valerie-
Me too…total “wow” after finishing it! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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SD,
It’s so awesome that you were able to read the book and find such a deep relationship to it. I was talking to Hank about it actually, that before this book (and before meeting Hank) I may have met an intersexual and not have been open to dating them…but after reading this I understand now. That’s a pretty beautiful thing that the book can do that for people.
Love to you!
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Dani
Hey Claudia!
Remember when Cal says that it took only so long for his brother to run the family business into the ground? I made the connection then, and then went online and saw others had too! But it’s just an idea, maybe we’re reaching! 😉 But to reach even more, perhaps it’s also symbolism for his brother allowing Cal to wipe the slate and start again as his brother, getting rid of everything in the past…kind of like declaring bankruptcy does. What do you think?
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Dani
So glad you decided to do a review on this book. I read this book a long while back. The synopsis at the back of the book caught my attention. I loved the book. 🙂 The writing was good and I did feel like the character build was pretty good. I think my final reaction once I was done with the book was “Wow”.
I read this book when I was in high school. It was hard initially but once I got hooked, there was no putting it down. I just had to know what happened to Calliope.
This book prepared me for my current relationship. My partner is an intersexual and the gender he’s born with (or assigned) doesn’t match the one he relates to. It helped me understand what he has gone through: the challenges he faced, the stigma, the confusion. I think I’d accept him at a much slower pace had I not read this book. 🙂
Sorry Dani, still don’t get why? Please share what conclusion did you come up with, him being called chapter eleven?
Thanks
I’m so glad you brought this up because I had not connected it until you did. To answer your question about chapter 11, “chapter 11” is the name of a kind of bankruptcy in American law.
Awesome, thank you for the rec! 🙂 I’ll have to check it out. <3
I read it last year and i reallly enjoied it. And after that i read “la trama del matrimonio” (i don’t know the tutte in english): a book so different but very good too.
Oh I bet! So neat that you had that whole side of the book to relate to. Did you (or your Mom and Aunt) find it to be pretty realistic?
Hi Shanna,
Thanks for chiming in! I fully see where you’re coming from, but I think for someone like me, who hasn’t ever really been exposed to learning about that part of history, he was a complicated character! Certainly not as much as most of the others, but still worth discussing, especially when thinking about his motivation and execution. For me, he kind of represented society as whole- wanting Cal to fit into this neat little box so it’s easier on everyone- and that was a huge part of the story, in my opinion.
Thanks so much for your comment. 🙂
-Dani
Hi Tily!
Okay so I have read NONE of those books. I am officially adding all of them to my ever-growing “to-read” list. Thank you so much!
Hi Slanelle!
Thanks for sharing that. I also felt the same way with this book AND with Lolita. Both are such beautiful pieces of writing.
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Hi Emma!
Loved, loved your comment here. Especially this: “Thinking about it now, this could be seen as another metaphor running through the book: the pressure on people to conform to a rigid system imposed from outside, be that gender normativity or the cliques and peer pressure of Calliope’s teenage years, or the socio-economic pressures felt by her parents.”
You seriously hit the nail right on the head with that. So smart and so true. Thank you for sharing and giving me something else to think about. Is it too soon to reread it? 😉
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Sarah,
I love that you described it as lyrical. Perfect.
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