Last weekend, we went to look at a house. It was unexpected and premature. We’re not at all ready to move (especially with an adoption in progress), but the house seemed so incredible that we felt we had to look “just in case.” It had all the things we thought we really wanted in a
“forever home.” So for, like, 24 hours my brain opened up to the possibility of moving way sooner than we had planned.
It turned out to be nothing. I’m one of those people who can tell within seconds of walking into a home whether it’s a yes or a no. I was honestly relieved because of the timing, but it definitely opened up a part of my brain and got me dreaming about the future. I wanted to share my thoughts on it and discuss with you today!
I hear people toss around the term “forever home” quite a bit. If you’ve ever watched HGTV you know what I mean. I’ve wondered if it’s realistic for me to find a home we’d live in “forever” and my husband, Jeremy, thinks it’s an absurd idea for someone like me to stay planted forever.
Still, the idea of planning for our own “dream home” appeals to me. Sure, no home is ever perfect … but I feel like good planning can get you a lot closer than poor planning. And I realized that if I don’t take the time to figure out what “dream home” or “forever home” means to ME then I won’t know what I’m searching for.
Our current home is perfect in so many ways. I always say if we could pick it up and move it to a different school zone I would. We are extremely attached to this home and the memories we’ve made here. It feels good to know we’re in no rush to move and that we can take as long as we want to shop and be really picky for our next home. Especially since we chose our current home after one day of shopping BEFORE we even lived in Nashville … that felt really risky! Four years later, we know the neighborhood options so much better and have a lot more perspective on where we may want to live.
Our current plan is to adopt our baby, enjoy our home and STAY OFF ZILLOW for the rest of 2019. Haha! But in the meantime, I want to use this time to really dream and plan what we would want in a future home—hopefully one we can stay in while our children are in school and plant some roots, even if it’s not literally “forever.”
I have a running list of random features that I would love in a home. Some are things we love in our current home and some are things we wish we could add (like SIDEWALKS in our neighborhood), but can’t.
I have a list of things we’d like to be near including schools, shopping, food, and a gym with an indoor pool for our little swimmer. Life with a toddler is quite a bit different from our life before and the things we’d like to live close to have changed.
This one is really specific to me, but I’ve identified that having renovation projects on the horizon is really inspiring to me (as opposed to doing them all before we move in), so I don’t think I’d want to build a home or buy a new build—but never say never! That looks fun too.
Choosing one style feels semi impossible to me! I love so many different types of homes and can visualize us in all of them. A part of me thinks I should narrow that down and a part of me thinks it’s better to stay open to possibilities. What do you think?
Do you believe in the idea of a forever home? And if you do, how do you decide what that means for your family? I’d love to hear your perspectives! xx.
Home.Wow! What does a home mean to me. My beginning . The point at which Life as it should be can begin.To look forward for.A place where I can unpack and get with life for the very first time.And be able to really shine,without stiphle.To take a breath,a long one.I like breathing.It seems that I have been holding it for fifty years now.That place that I could have the first real situation of that sign on the wall;Home Sweet Home.And next to it ,me in a comfortable chair with a content smile on my face.A place where my rescue cat,Sheba can Rome outside without being attack by a pit bull.She has been attacked by three pitbulls. In the right years she’s been with me she has never jumped up on the countertops or pottied in the house .I can even defrost meat for hours without worries.Hey you know what?
I bet I could even bake a pie and let it cool in an open window on the first floor.
Kellie Wyant
Yuma,Az.
My current home was never meant to be my forever home…it was my in between home that became the home that I raised my three children and has been a labor of love for the past 25 years. So in the end it looks like it was my forever home or should I say the home that we had most of memories made. Having said that, not sure if you ever have a forever home, because once the kids are gone you find you need a change…maybe something smaller or maybe a new place. For us its a new place. The plan is to relocate to Arizona…in fact one of my children already lives there and the other two are not far behind. It does help that my husbands family is also there….but it has now become our dream and one day, sooner the later, we will have are new forever home. The hard part is saying going by to my current home…so many memories I want to hold on to. However we are Looking forward to retirement and new making new memories.
I love this question, because you’re right people throw that term around so much it’s become cliche. I love the idea of a “for a very long time” home, and I love my current home so much! But knowing me, someday I might want to live elsewhere closer to my kids when they are grown.
I think ‘forever home’ is a silly concept. I would love to believe it’s real! But you NEVER know what the future hold or circumstances that will arise that will push you to other places. I believe that ‘home’ is where your family is! I have lived so many places but my ‘home’ is wherever my husband and dog are. I am hoping that by the time we retire is when we will have a place we never have to move from!
I agree with the concept of walking in a home and just “knowing.” My husband and I got married 20 years ago. We lived in three different homes (kept outgrowing them with kids), but I always knew that those were NOT going to be our forever homes. Our realtor took us to the home we live in now on a whim, and when I walked in the front door, I said “Yes. This is it.” It felt more like home than either of the other three houses we had lived in. We’ve been here 8 years and don’t plan on ever leaving.
How very interesting all the different perspectives! We’ve owned three homes in two states and I don’t know if this is our forever home. It’s the one we’ve fixed up the most, the one we became retired in, and now the one our family and grandkids can gather in. I don’t know what the future holds so for now, I choose to be quite content and enjoy all the things I love about it! But darn, I do love HGTV and it gives one lots of ideas. To me, a forever home is where your family enjoys being together and it has most of what you need. So making sure I pay attention to relationships as much as design and decorating! What an interesting discussion- thanks all!
I have to say I’m not too invested in a forever home. We’ve moved countries three times in the last 10 years (UK, Canada, Germany) since our son was born and there are things I’ve loved about the places we’ve lived. We’re not military so these were all choices we’ve made. I moved around a bit as a kid, and I think this has made me less attached to the idea of one place forever. I like to dream about where we’ll live in 10 or 20 years… the countryside in France? On a houseboat in Amsterdam? And that brings me joy.
I have always been super sentimental about living spaces, so I’ve never really thought very hard about the idea of a “forever home” because I just couldn’t imagine not living in a place for a long time, but it is so interesting reading all these comments on other perspectives. I never really leave long comments but I’ll indulge on this topic 🙂
I remember when I was in high school and a house went up for sale across the street from my aunt and uncle’s forever home and my parents seriously considered moving for a bit. I adore the house my parents and I have lived in since I was 5 (I’m 22), so I was devastated at the idea. Our home is nearly 100 years old and has only had two former owners. The previous family left us notes about their memories growing up in the house and the kids (now grown) still drop by occasionally to see what the house looks like now. We have gradually renovated it over the years and still have a lot more we could work on, so it never really gets boring. My mom’s childhood home reminds me of your house, Elsie. It’s a sprawling split-level ranch built in the ’50s with a huge yard and gardens and with eight kids and 21 grandkids, my family all loved gathering there every holiday and had a big, sad goodbye party when we eventually had to sell it a few years after my grandparents passed. It was a total time capsule, too. The backstory and before photos of your Nashville house always make me think of it. My dad’s childhood home is now in the process of being sold, and it is teeny tiny in comparison, with barely any yard, yet it’s where he and his four brothers grew up and where we all squeezed in for holiday gatherings without ever considering anything different, though it was updated and added to a bit over the years. Most of my family members also have really lovely “forever homes” of their own, so I have pretty traditional and sentimental ideas on the topic, and will be looking for my own someday (preferably a good old one) when I have my own family. It always makes me a little sad to hear people talk about moving, but I will always look forward to getting to know a new space and see how you make it yours 😉
You have found your “forever” home. It is Nova, Jeremy you and your new daughter. Wherever you choose to unpack your “stuff” has nothing to do with the forever home you all have, in your hearts.
Our first 3 houses all had two stories, but now that we’re well over 70? Our house has no stairs and we like it much better. It’s important to realize that needs change and you should be flexible.
We live in a nice neighbourhood but without sidewalks which drives my husband nuts. When we pay our property taxes, he goes off and threatens to go door to door with a petition to get sidewalks on our block. It makes no sense that a few blocks down other people have sidewalks (and probably take it for granted)! Sidewalks make a house look more polished and finished, but without it’s kind of blah. We also live in an area where people do for walks, also with dogs and kids, and sidewalks would be so much safer. So in a long winded way, Elsie, just sayin’ we hear you 😉 about your sidewalks wish! Thanks for the post.
I’m in more of a “10 year home” situation, but I love the idea of a forever home. I definitely love the idea of a longtime neighborhood! My son is already in rec. center activities at 14 months old with kids he could go all the way through high school with if we all stay put. That’s mind boggling to me! Even though there are people out there I went all the way from K through 12 with, myself. And, yes, having a kid changes what you want in a home SO much! We had THREE stairs out the door in our apartment we brought our son home to. Lugging his car seat carrier to the car around the corner or maneuvering the stroller down THREE stairs was SO BAD. I couldn’t believe how much THREE stairs could affect me.
First time I comment! ????
A Forever Home to me is like my dads house, I lived there my whole life and even though I’m now moved out I always feel like home when I walk in. I could be blind and still know where everything is. This I know is a forever home because my dad said he would never sell it, my mom lived there with us before she passed away and therefor to preserve her memory he feels that house should be forever. My brothers and I decided that even in the future we will keep that house Incase anyone needs to be there no matter where we move we can always come back Home.
I think a forever home to me is especially important once you have kids. Mine are now 17 and 20 and our home is the farthest from perfect but it’s where they grew up and where their memories of their childhood are. I too, love so many styles and feel I could make most any house feel like a home but a home is somewhere they feel safe and loved. I’m sure that whatever you choose to do, your girls will love it all.
In Germany it is quite common to have a “forever home”. Often people decide to buy or even more often build there forever home.
From personal experience I can report that a forever home is not perfect but even as an adult it feels so soothing to return to the parents forever home. All the neighbors are still living there and even if the house changed over the years (of course you keep improving it) so many beautiful childhood memories are coming back visting the house.
My husband is a seminarian (soon to be priest in the Episcopal church) and I’ve had to let go of the idea of having a forever home. We’ll likely move around a lot. But I’ve learned that I don’t need to be somewhere forever to feel like a house is a home or to introduce creature comforts. I’m working on being more mindful and being grateful for the things around me no matter how long I get to hold on to them. 🙂
My parents are still in the house they built before I was born, and my husband’s parents are in the house they have had since he was a child. Neither set plans on moving anywhere, and my kids have had the joy of seeing where mommy and daddy grew up. And it is special seeing photos and such from way back when. My mom would talk about someday having her grandkids come, and now they do! It was always so comforting through the fluctuating circumstances of life to have that known, comfortable home to go to.
Our home now isn’t my “dream home”, but it is my joyful reality home. Smaller than I might choose for now, but won’t be too big for just the two of us when we’re empty nesters. Yeah, some of the finishes and such aren’t to my liking, but I enjoy dreaming about making them more perfect. Our location is great, our neighbors are great, and we fully hope to be here for the long haul. And maybe, someday my grandkids will come to see our forever home, too!
So, I’m from Germany and it apperas to me, that finding your “forever home” is way different here than in America. I do live in a smaller town in the southwest of Germany. The next kindergarten and school are a five minute walk away from our home. Also the gym, grocery store, gas station, library and everything else that’s quite practical to have around. And as long as you don’t live in a super small village, this stuff usually is directly around the corner, no matter where you live – as all in all, everything is much smaller than in America here. So in Germany people mostly don’t move to have a better or more practical environment. The main reason why people usually move is, that they either want to live in a bigger flat/house, or they want to buy their own home. And as the real estate prices (and rents!) are extremely high here (I mean, BRUTALLY!), you don’t really have a wide range of possibilities. Most of the Germans are rather desperately searching for a home they can afford. I’d say that in Germany most people only buy a home one or two times (maximum!) in their live. So I’m finding it quite fascinating, that you are probably going to sell your house again. Especially because I think that it’s absolutely gorgeous! 🙂
We are already in our forever home. It’s nothing fancy, a semi detached 1930s 3 bed. But it’s plenty big enough for us forever, it has pretty much everything we want and aside from an enormous lottery win happening I don’t see us ever moving. We bought it from the children of the old couple who had lived here for fourty years. My goal is to be happy here and grow old here like they did!
We’ve been in our house for 3 years and are planning on probably about another 10. It’s not a forever home but it’s not a short term thing either. We’re over halfway now through a BIG restoration. The house is over 300 years old and needed a lot of love.