Episode #61: Unpopular Opinions

Hello there! This week, we’re doing an “unpopular opinions” episode, and we’d love to hear what you agree with and disagree with.

You can stream the episode here on the blog or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayTuneInPocket Casts, and Stitcher. You can find the podcast posts archive here.

Show notes: 

-In this episode, we discuss our feelings about microwaves, dishwashers, mid-century modern houses, farmhouse mansions, traveling with little kids, candy corn, eggnog, sushi … and more. 🙂

-As promised, here are a few “farmhouse style” references that are unique and interesting in my opinion. @thehunterhouses, @storiesbyeve and @mstarrevdesign.

-We want to hear YOUR unpopular opinions.

xoxo. Elsie

Episode 61 Transcript

Emma: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast today, we’re doing an unpopular opinions episode. So it’s about to get controversial up in here, but controversial about very trivial things like microwaves and candy corn. We hope you enjoy it.

Elsie: All right. So as with many episodes, I thought I would start off with a little disclaimer.

Emma: Yeah, we love disclaimers.

Elsie: We love disclaimers. But since this is an unpopular opinions episode, I feel like if we let ourselves we could do disclaimers through the whole episode and be like, sorry, sorry, sorry if you like it. Oh, I’m sorry. If you like it, that’s great for you. So we’re just going to do one up in the front and say, like, this is just for fun. Please don’t make it weird. Please don’t take it too seriously or personally. This is totally just like silly…

Emma: If you feel like you’re our personal friends, which, by the way, you are if you listen to our Podcast…

Elsie: You are.

Emma: …we can have different opinions about these very trivial things we’re about to talk about so don’t worry! (laughs)

Elsie: Right. Love what you love. Only God can judge you. And we might sound a little bit like judgy jerkos, a little bit…

Emma: Ooh, jerkos!

Elsie: But (laughs) OK, this is my favorite Amy Poehler quote. I’m saying it like daily now. “Good for you, not for me.”

Emma: Mm hmm.

Elsie: It’s great.

Emma: Amy Poehler is awesome.

Elsie: Oh. And also I wanted to acknowledge I have this horrible curse and you can tell me if you have it too.

Emma: This is the best thing about Elsie that I love to troll her about the most.

Elsie: There’s so many things I hate about myself, and this is one of many.

Emma: (laughs)

Elsie: Ok, so I have this curse where if I, like, go really hard on hating something, then like a year or maybe two years later, all of a sudden it’s like my new obsession that I love and I hate that about myself. So now I try to like, not be very vocal about my judgy opinions because it will turn around and bite me in the ass later.

Emma: Yeah, it’s the universe humbling you over and over again.

Elsie: It is.

Emma: Yeah, it gets all of us. But boy, is it funny when it gets you, because I’m like you said last year, that you said this was awful!

Elsie: It’s because I change my mind so much and so fast and everyone’s always calling me out for it. So yeah, all of this stuff can change. And…

Emma: Probably will.

Elsie: That’s why I don’t have a career in politics, because I would be like the ultimate flip-flopper on literally everything.

Emma: You know, what’s wrong with changing your mind sometimes? Maybe that’s called growth. Anyway, let’s do it!

Elsie: I love it.

Emma: Elsie. What is your first unpopular opinion?

Elsie: OK, (laughs) this is so fun. I’m so excited about the episode. All right. So my first unpopular opinion, this is going to, like, make everyone furious and hate me and I’m so excited, so I hate it/don’t feel like I really need microwaves and dishwashers.

Emma: Uhuh.

Elsie: And so microwaves, obviously, like I never had a microwave until recently this year we moved into a house that already had one. It came with it and we just left it there. And I’ll use it for, like, just melting butter or, you know, I’ll use it like once a month.

Emma: I’ve used it every day since I’ve been here.

Elsie: Augh! Yeah.

Emma: I’m always like, where’s your microwave? Gosh!

Elsie: I’m a bit like afraid of microwaves in a way that’s kind of weird. Like if my kid tries to walk close to it, when it’s on, I’ll be like, move out of the way! And I don’t want it to be a daily used thing, but I do understand that, like especially for baking, it is like kind of nice to just have one once in a while.

Emma: Melting butter. Melting chocolate. Yeah. It’s kind of nice. Oh. Warming up your coffee.

Elsie: And then my thing with Dishwasher’s I feel like is even more off-putting because people love dishwashers, like I read blogs, I love blogs and people love their freakin dishwashers.

Emma: Right. Right.

Elsie: And here’s what’s ironic. Our new home has not one, not two. It has three dishwashers.

Emma: Gosh, what a rich person…ugh. (laughs)

Elsie: Oh yeah. And it’s totally wasted on me because one of my petty marriage fights is that I don’t want Jeremy to put stuff in the dishwasher. I just like to hand wash things quickly as we go. Like, I love hand washing dishes are kind of my like, you know, everyone has like a chore they don’t mind it’s kind of weird. Like dishes is mine. I like it.

Emma: Mine’s laundry.

Elsie: I like to, like, wash the dishes and set them there and then wait five minutes and then dry them off a little and put them away. And I just like I just love that. And I like to do it really quickly. And we tend to use the same dishes over and over, you know, like the one-pot that you used to cook mac and cheese and the coffee mugs and the kids’ stuff like that stuff we use over and over and over. So if it goes into the dishwasher, it will just be there still tomorrow. But like gross and smelly and just like crusty. And then I have to take it out and wash it so I could totally live without a dishwasher and even with one if I lived by myself and I was single, I would only use it like, every once in a great while or…

Emma: Like when you have people over which obviously this year.

Elsie: Yeah. Like if you had a big Thanksgiving or something, like, I understand why you need it that day, but on a regular day, I just wouldn’t need it.

Emma: Yeah. I mean, I’m currently living alone and I don’t use the dishwasher at the holiday house. I just wash them by hand because it’s easier.

Elsie: It’s a small, weird dishwasher there.

Emma: That’s true. It’s like a little apartment dishwasher.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: And I just don’t make enough dishes by myself to really…

Elsie: But yeah. I don’t want…well I know that so many people wish they had a dishwasher. I’ll just say that. And like I get it…

Emma: We already did our disclaimer!

Elsie: OK.

Emma: Stop right now!

Elsie: Ok, ok, ok. I just don’t. Yeah. I just don’t feel like I need one…

Emma: You don’t like it.

Elsie: …and I don’t use it at all.

Emma: Yeah.

Elsie: And they are smelly and gross and I think that the soap makes my dishes smell weird and I don’t like the little spots. I just like it hand washed.

Emma: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I like microwaves and dishwashers most of the time but definitely microwaves. So I really always disagreed with you on those.

Elsie: OK, this is funny. So there’s two dishwashers in our kitchen and like somebody when we renovate we’ll probably just have one and then there’s one, we have this like little pantry type of room. That’s a separate room. It’s near the breakfast nook and there’s a dishwasher in there. And I cannot wait for the day that I get to renovate that space because I’m going to make it into a trash can. Because it actually really needs a trash can. And we would use that.

Emma: Are you going to do the compacter trash can or just like a pull out just a hidden trash can?

Elsie: I was thinking just a regular trash can. Yeah, like the recycle slash trash.

Emma: Right. Right. That makes sense.

Elsie: So anyway,OK, what’s your first unpopular opinion?

Emma: My first unpopular opinion is, so as listeners might know, I’ve been kind of house shopping for a couple of years now, which is kind of on hold at the moment. But one thing I’ve learned is I don’t really like mid-century houses and I feel like they’re so popular, probably especially among people in like, I don’t know, “my crowd”, like people who like blogs and things.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: But I just…

Elsie: And she lives in the mid century house now!

Emma: Yeah, well yeah. I mean, I don’t at the exact moment but but generally. Yes. And there are I mean I don’t know, they’re fairly common-ish where I live in the middle of the country. I just, here’s what…it’s kind of two things. I feel like a little boxed in, you know, décor wise with a house that’s very mid-century because I just feel like it’s hard to do a more eclectic style. I really like houses that are more of a blank slate and you can decide what type of look you want to do. Whereas if your house is very mid-century, I feel like it’s kind of telling you what you need to do. And I don’t know. I don’t like that. I guess I’m a rebel.

Elsie: That’s totally a thing. In mid century houses, people can be very judgmental that you need to, like, be era-appropriate.

Emma: Well, I don’t care so much what people think, but I…it feels weird to try to it feels like you’re trying to force it. If you don’t go with what your house is, it feels like you’re kind of…

Elsie: I agree with that.

Emma: So that and then also some people love a very mid-century house mid-century modern house. And I love Mad Men. I loved that show. I love mid century modern. But I just to me it feels a little costumey, a little bit too much like a TV or a movie set and it just doesn’t feel like home to me. So I just don’t love super mid-century houses. I feel like I tend to kind of shy away from those when I see them, even though they they are really cool. It was a cool era and a lot of people love them, but I just, I don’t know. I just don’t. So there you have it. (laughs)

Elsie: Ok, I totally get that. I’ve been in both stages in life where I was like, I want this like truly mid century like theme, everything is like inspired by Frank Sinatra. And then I’ve had times when I was like, pass. I think I want to be able to have a tufted sofa if I want to a tufted sofa.

Emma: Right. Yeah. Or just certain rugs, certain types of things. I don’t know. I just, I don’t like feeling boxed in. I like to be able to kind of be eclectic or change things.

Elsie: I can’t wait to see what else you pick next and how you decorate it, because I do feel like you’ve been like gearing up for it for so long that it’s going to be so amazing.

Emma: It’s really a lot of pressure at this point because this has been so long. I mean, you’ve lapped me a couple of times now with your moving (laughs).

Elsie: That is not a compliment, though. OK, my next one is so controversial.

Emma: Everyone’s going to hate Elsie after this.

Elsie: Buckle up. All right. I hate a farmhouse mansion.

Emma: She does.

Elsie: And here’s where we draw the line. I love a historic home. I love a historic farmhouse. I love a cute little affordable house that you got really into fixer upper and you made it your own with a farmhouse style and a lot of the Chip and Joanna stuff from Target. All of that is great. But where I live, there are a lot, you would be surprised a lot of two and three million dollar homes, that are farm house and I hate them. And here’s why. The OK, the reason why is because I feel like it’s like this..it is a trend. It just is.

Emma: It is.

Elsie: And where do you go from there after you get a little bit more over just this…and it’s very templated. I also will say, you know, there’s some people I follow on Instagram. I’ll put a couple of links in the show notes who make the farmhouse style like kind of unique and interesting.

Elsie: Right.

Emma: But when I see the mansions, they’re not unique and interesting. They’re like the same thing over and over and over. And it just feels like very much, very much boring. Mommy doesn’t like it.

Elsie: That’s kind of the same thing as my not loving the mid century modern is it’s just kind of a don’t like to be boxed in.

Emma: It’s a hard look. And yeah, I feel like you kind of have to stay with it.

Elsie: And the other thing that was weird is that when we were, when we said we were moving a few months back, we had already like picked our house and stuff at that point. But like some realtors started sending me some farm house mansions, (laughs) they were like, oh, this is perfect for you. This is perfect for you. And it was…

Emma: And you were like, excuse me?!

Elsie: I took it kind of personally, yeah! (laughs) I was like, in what universe is this perfect for me? So anyway…

Emma: That was a little snobby, but that’s funny.

Elsie: Good for you, not for me. I just think that it shouldn’t it be a three million dollar. Like if you’re going to do a three million dollar mansion, I beg of you pick a different style. If you’re going to rehab a seventy thousand dollar house, go for it. You know, go for it on the farmhouse. That’s my opinion.

Emma: I like it. I mean, why not? Ok, well, my next one is the one where everyone’s going to hate me.

Elsie: Everyone forget about the farmhouse thing and get ready to hate Emma.

Emma: Get ready!

Elsie: It’s Emma’s turn.

Emma: So because there’s two reasons you’re going to hate me. One, I’m about to tell you a parenting opinion, and I’m not really a parent, right? Ooh!

Elsie: Oh, no! OK.

Emma: And then two, I think a lot of people are just going to disagree with me.

Elsie: I am, actually. Go for it!

Emma: So here’s my unpopular opinion about parenting. When I’m not even a parent, I don’t understand, or I feel like it doesn’t make sense to do like these big elaborate traveling vacations with very, very small kids. Now, let me explain. I feel like if you’re under five or six or whatever, you probably aren’t going to remember a lot of things like you just are at an age where you don’t really remember.

Elsie: Which is true.

Emma: That doesn’t mean your childhood doesn’t matter. But I just feel like when it comes to spending a lot of money on travel, maybe that doesn’t, you know, totally compute. I also feel like it’s more difficult to travel with very small kids. There’s a lot of accessories I see parents have to, like, drag through the airports and all those things. And I also feel like sometimes in our culture and maybe this is true in other cultures, I don’t really know. But I feel like people aren’t given the permission to still just be adults and have their own adult trips or their own adult hobbies whenever they have small children. It’s like your whole life has to be dedicated to your child and all of your money and all of your time has to go to your child. And I just don’t I really think people should give themselves a little more permission. Like if you only get one vacation a year, maybe it’s OK if you go just you and your partner and leave the kid at grandma’s house, you know, because grandma’s house is still really fun. And of course, it matters like at what exact age your kid is because you wouldn’t necessarily leave a newborn, of course. But I don’t know. I just feel like maybe there should be a little more permission for people to vacation without their children, because sometimes you need a break. And also, you know, when you’re an adult, it’s not like you stop caring— I love travel. If you didn’t know, like, that’s one of my big things in my life and probably the thing I spend the most money on outside of home stuff is traveling, obviously not this year. But I think that’s part of it for me is I have a hard time thinking, oh, there’s going to be this decade or more of my life where it’s only about somebody else and not at all about me with this thing that I love, travel. And so I don’t know, that’s kind of where my head is at on it. Obviously, this doesn’t mean I think if you want to take your small child on a trip, I mean, do it, do whatever you want. But I just. Feel like there isn’t a lot of permission for parents to do things without their children, like travel and I don’t know, I just don’t totally agree with that point of view.

Elsie: Yeah, I mean, I definitely agree with you that people should do what they want to do and not feel guilty and not be driven by guilt. Right. And like next year is our 10 year anniversary. And we’re if we can, 100 percent going to go on a trip without our kids, just the two of us, something like very, un-kid friendly is what we’re planning. But OK, from my perspective, I have to say, like, since I’ve been a mom and it’s just so wonderful. It’s just so wonderful. And I know I can feel how fast it’s going by. I just all I want to do right now is go to Disney with my kids over and over. And that’s just like what’s fun for me. So that’s my defense of it is like if you I don’t know, sometimes it’s just like and I like if I went to Paris right now, I would want to take my kids with me. Just I just would, you know, and it’s like if you want to have, like, a more difficult trip with your kiddos with you and like, I know that Goldie wouldn’t remember it, but I feel like I would maybe want to do it for myself. So I don’t know. I just think it’s definitely both. Don’t feel guilty. But also like if it makes you happy to do these little excruciating, excruciating trips like I took we went to China last year with Nova…

Emma: But that was, you were adopting her little sister. So I don’t know. I feel like that one’s a little different than just…that’s not really a vacation. That’s yeah. A different.

Elsie: That’s true.

Emma: Yeah. But…

Elsie: Well, I’ll say if you want to go to Disney every year for five years and it’s like the best five years of your life, you go get those churros. And if you want to go by yourself to Paris with your husband and leave your kids with grandma, then, you know, you go do that, get those baguettes. Yeah. Either way…

Emma: It’s all about the food!

Elsie: I think I gave you a disclaimer, but I was just trying to say my opinion. But you get to have your opinion. And like, I actually think that’s a very, it is a big controversy.

Emma: Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, people can disagree. We set our disclaimer at the beginning. It’s cool. All right. Let’s move on to a couple more lighthearted ones now. Let’s stop let’s stop hating Emma and Elsie for a second. Let’s move on to just something simple. (laughs)

Elsie: OK. This is so simple. Candy corn is disgusting. I hate candy corn! And I know that it is the most polarized candy. It is.

Emma: It probably is.

Elsie: It’s like you either love it or you hate it. Like, I think it is like a little piece of wax and it’s so cute and I like to get them and like put them in bowls and like consider them a decoration. We put them in our chexmix and then I pick around them and don’t eat them like I just like hate candy corn so much.

Emma: But you like the look.

Elsie: It’s adorable. Yeah.

Emma: I like the pumpkin ones.

Elsie: Augh! They taste the same.

Emma: I feel like you get less of the waxiness because it’s a bigger piece of candy. I like the pumpkins but I don’t really like candy corn. I’m with you on that. It’s take it or leave it for me.

Elsie: It is. Like, Reese’s is my fall candy so I like…Yeah. Anyway, hate candy corn. But here’s what I love that I think a lot of people hate. I love eggnog. I think it’s so good, so delicious. And an eggnog latte is my special once your latte way above for me, all the other Starbucks seasonal like drinks. It’s like the one and I only get it once a year. I usually get it on our way home from Christmas.

Emma: Oh!

Elsie: Like it’s like a driving…

Emma: Last of the Christmas.

Elsie: It’s the end of. Yeah it’s like a little bookend.

Emma: Mmhmm. Yeah.

Elsie: So what do you feel about eggnog?

Emma: I like an eggnog latte. I can’t say that I ever really wanted to drink just eggnog.

Elsie: What about eggnog with rum in it?

Emma: Yeah I would drink that. Yeah. I drink most things with rum in it to be fair.

Elsie: I don’t usually like a milky cocktail but…

Emma: I can only have one. It’s not a thing you can drink a lot of but.

Elsie: Right. Right.

Emma: But yeah. Well my controversial food thing is that I hate sushi/raw fish.

Elsie: Mm.

Emma: I just never liked it. I yeah. And it’s just the sushi that’s…

Elsie: I love sushi!

Emma: Yeah. Raw fish like real sushi. I’ll eat like a sushi roll that has something cooked or if it’s like a deep fried one I’ll eat that and I’ll eat at sushi restaurants if they have other things. But I just hate sushi. I’ve never really liked it.

Elsie: Emma always orders like salmon with broccoli like teriyaki salmon that’s what she always orders when we go.

Emma: Which is more like hibachi. It’s more like Japanese food. Really.

Elsie: Yeah, it’s definitely not sushi.

Emma: Yeah. I just don’t, I’ve never liked raw fish it really grosses me out the texture of it, so I’m just one of those uncool people that I don’t like sushi at all. If friends want to get it, I’m happy to go because there’s always something else on the menu. But I do not like sushi. Ugh.

Elsie: Well, you should live in Nashville because it’s famously not known for great sushi.

Emma: (laughs) OK.

Elsie: Well, I hope that you guys enjoy that episode and you feel like it’s like fun, like it’s a fun version of hating, and we want to hear your opinions. So come on. The show notes abeautifulmess.com/podcast and let us know which ones you strongly agree and strongly disagree with. And as long as you don’t call us a bad mom or any names, then we’ll all have a fun discussion. Womp, womp. OK, thank you so much for sharing our podcast with your friends and for leaving us reviews like this one from Spilled Milk Designs it is entitled “Podcast Virgin”. “So I never actually listened or even had the desire to listen to a podcast until this one came along. I absolutely love listening to Elsie and Emma while I’m working at night.”Aw! “They’re fun, lighthearted and so inspiring. It would be so fun to sit down with you both over a cup of coffee or tea some day, and this is definitely the next best thing. Also, the Nova plugs are just so good.” Thank you so much and have a great week.

Emma: Bye!

 

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  • Catching up on the podcast. Can’t think of an unpopular opinion that I want to share but I will say the Amy Poehler quote “Good for you, not for me” has been a mantra I’ve used and shared since her book came out. It’s so freeing!

  • Just a note on traveling with kids–my husband and I traveled for a year with our then 4 year old. We started in Europe and headed west. It was an amazing year. She remembers a lot but more than anything, it instilled a sense of curiosity and acceptance of the world a differences! (And WE remember! 😜). Obviously, what you do and see is very different but on the other hand you get an instant “in” which allows you to go beyond tourist mode.
    Love the podcast!

  • Oh geez, how do you guys heat up leftovers without a microwave? We went a couple weeks without one when we moved into our new house, and it was such a chore to reheat everything on the stove. Good unpopular opinion.

    My unpopular opinion is that cereal with milk is gross.

  • I love the podcast, it’s such a fun start to the week for me. It’s inspired me to stay creative and open-minded.

    I totally agree with no dishwasher/microwave! I am one of six kids and we grew up without a dishwasher, (or as my dad said, “we have six dishwashers!”). I learned to be patient with baking and reheating food without a microwave–it’s definitely convenient but I was happy without one!

    I also get the farmhouse/century specific houses that limit creativity or style. I love a space that can be changed up!

    One of my “unpopular opinions” is my distaste for macarons–they are a texture that I just loathe!

    You should consider an episode of “unpopular opinions” but of things you like that others often don’t–for me it’s black licorice! I love it, I’ll eat all the black jellybeans 🙂

  • Loved your intro saying we are all friends here and friends can disagree! I feel you two are my great pals and can laugh along enjoying your podcast SO much. I do have to tell you my controversial opinion though and it’s that I can’t stand Word wall art…I feel those smug little sayings Love,Live,laugh…this family etc etc are unbearably false and smug …why don’t they just put a cute picture up instead? Also have to add the huge wedding canvases people have in their living rooms… maybe a small framed photo is nice but otherwise no!!

  • My dishwasher broke and have been hand washing everything for over a year. I enjoy it immensely!! Do you have any links to your favorite drying board?

  • I’m a nurse-midwife and I love listening to your podcast on my 3 hour round-trip work commutes to & from clinic. I have 4 kids, avidly read the news and your podcast is such a great escape from all of that 🙂

    Being a New Englander, historic homes are my thing so I am totally with Emma – around here, mid century homes look cheap and a bit tacky (being honest about my unpopular opinion!), but they’re also few and far between.
    To each her own and no guilt!! Amen to that.

    Thanks guys!

  • I loathe the farmhouse McMansion. Even starting to hate the regular size houses with the look because all flips and remodels in our area have the same colors and finishes. In the 2000s it was French country – country French was the local term – I felt like the only person who didn’t want it. Loved MCM before it became a trend, too. Just feels like no one is thinking individually when it comes to design now. We live in a very “follow the crowd” society. I love looking at magazines like Elle Decor again because Instagram seems like the same look over and over again.

  • Talking about farmhouse mansions reminded me how much I hate log house mansions. I think it’s two concepts — the mansion and the tiny homestead house — that were never meant to go together. Also, they’re weird. Just recently I looked at a log house on Zillow that was priced at 8 million dollars, and there was a giant stone cooking hearth in the master bedroom. Like…why? The fireplace, I understand, but it was all set up as a cookfire. So odd.

  • Not everyone is in the position to leave their kid with someone or can afford to hire a babysitter. I can afford one vacation a year. The kid deserves to go as well! Also, just LOL on a non-parent giving parental opinions. No other pet peeves to discuss…LOL!

  • This was such a fun episode! Thanks for being unafraid to share your opinions. The only one that I full-heartedly disagree with (sorry Emma) is making judgements about parents before becoming one. I used to do this soooo much before I had kids, and now, everything has shifted and I feel terrible for all of the parents I used to judge. People are truly clueless until they are 100% responsible for another human. I understand how it seems like we should be able to simply stay true to ourselves and do the same things we did before we had kids, but frankly, that is not possible. Everything changes and moms have to adopt a new sense of normal. I would love to take a trip with just my partner, sans kids, but since my mom passed away, that is simply not an option anymore. We simply do not have the childcare available to us that would allow for such a trip.

  • Loved this lighthearted episode! Totally agree with Emma about mid-century houses. When I first bought my house I was really upset it had no character, but now I embrace the fact that I can throw whatever I want in it because I’m not forced into one style. My unpopular opinion: I hate reality shows and procedural crime dramas.

  • YES to EGGNOG!! We have a local dairy here in Canton, OH (Hartzler’s) that is the BEST! I brought it to work to share because some people needed enlightening! Now I need to try the Eggnog latte!

  • I only got a dishwasher a few years ago and before that people would get weirdly indignant and almost angry about it the fact that I would wash dishes. It was so strange!

  • wow, so you’ve has said pretty much nothing about politics during this entire campaign, have barely adressed the movement for Black Lives…. and now you do a podcast episode on “unpopular opinions”? i just…
    You have created a very, very white space here, and i’ve seen way too little effort in the last 6 months to reflect on and actually change that. Maybe things are happening behind the scenes that we’re not seeing (yet). In that case, I want to encourage you to review how you operate, because waiting months and months to adress a huge civil rights movement and then posting “unpopular opinons” about road trips is not cute.

    • …huh? They talked a lot on their instagrams about the election leading up to it. They have also been featuring Black creators and Black owned businesses in so many more of their posts and even changed up their Etsy collab to feature more Black creators. What more are you suggesting they do?

      • I agree with you. I’m not sure what the other commenters are expecting from a lighthearted design blog.

    • Hi JayNay,
      I’m not going to list all the changes we’ve been making and I will just say that if you haven’t noticed any change then it clearly is not enough. We are continuing to work on all of these issues you have brought up. Thank you for taking the time to point it out- we know we can do better and we will.

      As far as the podcast, I just want to quickly note that all our podcasts now until the new year are pre-recorded, so none of them are going to be addressing real time subjects like the election.

      Have a great day! Elsie

    • Jaynay, thank you for this comment. I’ve made similar ones and they have not been approved by the moderators and I’ve felt very shut down by the army of white women beside me who’ve loved ABM for several years. This space became more white to me in ABM’s botched attempt to be in solidarity with black lives this year. It would almost have felt less-white to see this post in the context of ABM having said nothing over the summer when the marches were at full steam. I wouldn’t write this if I didn’t think change was possible. I made a botched attempt earlier this year, was called out, and botched things a few more times until it started clicking. Please keep trying. Thank you for your response to Jaynay’s comment, Elsie.

      • Geneva, I, too, have had many similar comments moderated or deleted over the last seventh months. It’s confusing to see the “we’re trying” sentiment alongside serious censorship of concern and dissent.

  • We went years without a microwave and then we had a baby and seemed to need it all the time (heating up bottles, heat packs for sore boobs, etc). Now I pretty much only use it to make popcorn. I guess I could get a popcorn maker? I also feel weird standing in front of it when it’s on! Like I’m getting radiated or something!
    I was just talking to my husband about travel with kids. We took our son to Oaxaca for Day of the Dead when he was 6 months old and it was great overall. But now he’s 2, there’s no way I’d take him on that same trip!!! Travel with him at this age is more stress than it’s worth. We have naps, early bedtime, tantrums… We do take him camping, and small trips close to home. But the next big trip my husband and I go on will be just the two of us. And once our guy is older (and the baby in my belly is older!) we will love taking them all over the world .
    Thanks for a fun episode!

  • My unpopular opinion is that I hate going to the movie theater. I don’t really enjoy watching movies in general but watching them in the theater is the worst. Sitting upright in a chair for several hours is so uncomfortable and I hate feeling trapped, surrounded by people.

  • I think that birthday parties, baby showers, and wedding showers are the worst! Totally okay with someone else having them and I’ll occasionally attend if it’s in honor of someone I love. But I don’t want them for myself. I was able to skip having a wedding shower when I got married (it was like pulling teeth to accomplish that😂), but I wasn’t able to talk my family out of a baby shower. It was fine though, they were all so happy! We never had bday parties when I was growing up, but the day was still really special. Now with my own baby, I’d like to do the same but extended family is super disappointed by that so we’ll see. Anyway, I thought this was an unpopular opinion but I see a few comments above mention the same thing☺️

  • I forgot my unpopular opinion! Macarons suck. They are pretty and make for a lovely gift to those who enjoy them. But they are overrated af!!! They are expensive and taste like those Easter sugar eggs. Blech. I’d rather just have a sugar cookie at that rate. All that said: I was frigging obsessed for awhile. It took me some time to realize I did not *actually* like them. I just liked the presentation, the wide variety, the gift-ability, etc.

    I think the conversation on kids and travel is super fun–I’m loving hearing all the different perspectives. Kids are great, but I am decidedly childfree after a losing battle with infertility. So, it kiiiind of makes my husband and I feel better to visit “adults only” spots for our bigger vacations. It helps us focus on the upsides of not having kids and to prevent those “what if” thoughts during otherwise magical moments… bc we had every intention to travel with our kids! Who knows how we would have felt once the time and a crying infant on a plane came.

  • Love this episode! I also strongly dislike microwaves and dishwashers. My mother-in-law has a major issue with the fact that we do not have a microwave that she actually gave me one for Christmas one year. Needless to say it “broke” aka was given to someone that wanted one.

  • Oh these are fun!!
    – I don’t like houseplants. I don’t like having dirt inside on purpose. Why?! But I live somewhere very green so I’m surrounded by plant life and it’s all we see out the windows. Maybe if I lived somewhere dry or in a city I’d like them. But probably not, haha!
    – I think gender reveal parties are so silly!

    We’ve lived for 9 years without a dishwasher and I honestly don’t mind at all. It’s about the same amount of work as rinsing, loading, and unloading a dishwasher. I don’t see why everyone thinks they are an absolute necessity??

    • I agree on the houseplants! I actually find they ruin furniture and windowsills. Maybe its my climate (coastal fog), but no matter what saucers I used to use under plants the paint underneath always stuck to the saucer and then peeled off when moving the plants. Or bubbled up. Or got moldy and discolored. So when we finally bought a house, I got rid of all my houseplants or took them to work. My work windowsill is completely trashed from the plants, but I don’t own it so I don’t really care.

  • Regarding Emma’s traveling with kid’s opinion… I wanted to say that not everyone who travels with their kids WANTS to be traveling with their kids. Ha! Only sort of joking. Our parents aren’t willing (or trustworthy) to watch our daughter so it’s travel with our toddler or don’t travel at all. 🥴 I completely agree with Emma’s opinion and if we could travel alone we totally would. It is a total slog traveling with a kid, punctuated with lots of moments of pure magic. Worth it and hard, like everything.

  • Unpopular Opinion – I’m a ONE AND DONE baby shower person. We had a baby shower two years ago before we had our first son. The one baby shower means I’m GOOD for all future babies.

    We were getting pressured both at work and with friends/family to have another celebration and I was like “nah I’m good, I had that big baby shower in may 2018”. Silver lining of COVID – FOR US – was that everyone stopped talking about that second baby shower…

    I don’t mind going to multiple baby showers for other parents (I actually think they are fun) BUT don’t make me do any more – we are good. For some reason in my head it’s like having more weddings – we’re already married, we’re already parents. Also I’m taking care of a kid and growing another – time and energy is limited!

    Thank you for this episode and letting me share this important thought. Haha

  • I was very excited to listen to this one on my lockdown walk (eyeroll – doing a lot of those lately), but I just felt it would be nicer if you guys interrupted each other less (looking primarily at you here Elsie) because it got a bit crazy trying to make sense. Sorry don’t hate me but I listen to
    ALL your podcasts and want to keep listening. It was just like Elsie – less coffee and more listening skills please.

  • I live in a state where it is very common and popular for people to have a lake cabin (either that they own or that’s been in their family for a long time) where they vacation on the weekends in the summer. It’s a big culture of “going up to the lake”. My unpopular opinion is that it’s terrible to own a second property like this! The traffic getting there is terrible, you have to do so much work to maintain the place, pack, stock it with groceries, etc., that you spend all your vacation time essentially working! Give me a rental, AirBnB, hotel, etc., and I’m happy!

    • I hate dishwashers and have never owned one. I don’t have a microwave either, I prefer to use the cooker.
      My unpopular opinions ( well two of them.) Are that I hate summer and love winter. It annoys me that all people do is moan about the cold, grey, rainy days when I love them soooo much! And I don’t like alcohol- it’s not a moral thing I just don’t like the taste of ANY of it. But people really don’t like it when I won’t join in with a drink – why is this?

  • My unpopular opinion is that I’ve never understood the big, elaborate kid birthday parties when the kid is too little to understand what is going on or remember the day haha. I understand when the kid is big enough to have fun and open presents…but GIANT one year birthday parties just always seemed to me like it was more for the mom than for the kid.

    • I hate those diaper genie/diaper cans. Toss it in the trash or take a stinky outside. They are gross and EXPENSIVE!! And plastic wasteful as if diapers aren’t environmentally unfriendly as is!!!
      Also…mid century homes make me think of my rich great Aunt and Uncles who had a really fancy mid century home they decorated at the time of their marriage but when I would visit them they were old and it makes me think of pill boxes and death!

  • Hello! Just over here looking for pink Christmas trees online and enjoying your podcast. I’m usually at a loss during these types of conversations (I think liking cilantro was my go-to before) but now I have a big one that some people really hate to hear. I hate MLMs (Multi Level Marketing companies like Pampered Chef, Usborne books, LulaRoe, etc.) By design their products are overhyped and overpriced and in practice they strain personal relationships between the sellers and the buyers. When I shop, I want to be able to compare prices and reviews easily with every other comparable product in order to make my choice and MLMs make that impossible. Additionally, reps/consultants/shillers so often take it personally when you say no, as if you aren’t willing to help them when really you are just not into supporting MLM companies and their pyramid-like structure. If a product is great, sell it in a shop and pay your employees a living wage! If any of my friends/in-laws are reading this, I’d rather you just asked me for money…that would be less awkward.

  • I 1000000000000000% agree about farmhouse style. I just viscerally hate it hahaha. And Swedish fish. I really hate that candy.

  • Hi, girls! Fun episode this morning. I have to say that I’ve lived without a dishwasher for over a year and a half now b/c my husband is building our house and we are in a garage apartment (no room for a dishwasher). And I have been HATING LIFE! Lol. Especially since Covid started and we eat soooo much at home. I’m having to hand wash every dish and some days it takes me an hour. I do not have time or patience for this. Also, dishes have always been my least favorite chore, so this hasn’t helped. The day we get a dishwasher installed in the house will be pure bliss and I will be in full love. 😉

  • Loved the podcast! Here is my unpopular opinion, I believe that people who dont have kids dont know how it is to have kids and that their wiews will change when or if they have kids. I understand that their wiews may not change, but I believe I know better and thats not a nice nor humbling thing to belive. And thats shaming of non-parents! I believe noone should be shamed, not parents or non-parents.

    When my kids were small we took them on all kinds of trips, had big birthday- and Christmas-parties. They dont remember all of them now (they are 13 and 11) but I dont care. It was all for the moment! I loved seeing my then two-year old swin in the Mediterranean. I loved seeing my then six year old in The American Girl Store at the Grove in Los Angeles (we live in a small town in Sweden, so that was a looong and expensive trip). I loved seeing them on their first Subway-train-ride in Berlin. I loved seeing them att ages 4 and 7 having birthday parites at a trampoline park and so on. Its the happiness and awe and excitement in their eyes att just that moment. I dont care that everything is not a memory for them. They love to look att the pics and hear the stories now. I dont think you should wait. I think you should just do. Thats my opinion and I know many parents and non-parents disagree, mostly for economic reasons. That you should not spend that kind of money when the kids dont even remember, but my husband and I do and they are some of the best memories of my life.

    I agree with Emma that parents should go on trips on their own and not be judged. But I understand parents who want to bring their kids. You dont want to leave the loves of your lives, your biggest crushes. You want to experience everything with them. They are not a problem on a trip (ok ok, there are tough moments on long plane-rides and temper-tantrums in museum lines and restaurants) , but they are the icing on the cake. Its dubble-joy, its your own joy of walking the narrow streets of Venice, Italy and at the same time the joy of experiencing through the eyes of your greatest love. So I bring my kids on all exciting trips, but my husband and I take weekend-trips a couple of times a year by our selves. My kids will soon be so old that they will not want to tag along on all our trips and I already feel so sad even just thinking about it. ❤️

    • Most childfree individuals KNOW they don’t get what it’s like to have kids. That said, many are confused why it should come with special privileges–and why parents bring up the fact that we “just don’t get it” so much :D. It’s fantastic for those who choose parenthood to find fulfillment in such; however, it’s not any more worthy than seeking a different lifestyle. I don’t think that’s an unpopular opinion you have, though… I’ve heard it an eff ton, despite giving zero opinions on parenting bc you’re right–I don’t get it.

      Regardless, you sound like a kick-butt mom. Hope you keep having fun on trips with your kids!

    • Fun and provocative episode!

      I wanted to offer another view on the travel with kids, which follows a little on Jess’ comment above.

      So here’s a take from a kid who travelled with parents. My parents took me and my siblings all over the world. They did it all totally on the cheap. But by the time I was nine, I had been to Russia, Italy, England, Egypt, Israel. There is LOTS that I don’t remember, but it really impacted how I felt about myself. I was a traveller! When we talked about those places in school, I knew I had been there. In addition, I had a hard time in my small town middle school and knowing there was a bigger world out there was HUGE for my self-esteem.

      In addition, I think that when you travel with kids, you do it in a different way. (Although, I have yet to do it) But I’m excited to watch the puppet show in the Luxembourg Gardens in Paris with my daughter or see her on a gondola ride in Venice. But yea – I’ll probably forgo day-long wine tours. But that’s ok. (Maybe when she’s 21?) Anyway, I’m excited to instill in her a life-long love of travel.

      I remember Elsie saying something beautiful about our children’s childhood being for us. (I think it’s something your mom said). And I think travel with kids is a little like that. (And who knows what they’ll remember anyway!) We don’t decorate nurseries for babies either and there’s no kid that remembers their first birthday party.

      I think what is holding you back is your feeling that it’s so expensive and that’s wasted on someone who doesn’t remember every minute. But I’m not sure that’s true. Again, calling on my personal experience – my parents travelled with us on a shoe-string budget. I honestly don’t know how they did it! And I think the experience made me the person I am — even if I don’t remember every minute of it.

      I hope to also take some trips that are just for my husband and myself too! Anyway, just another perspective! 🙂 xoxoxo

    • Yes, maybe you are right, thats it not an unpopular opinion. Its more like, I feel like a bad person, because I think that I know better and nobody likes a know-it-all. And I do belive that everyone has the right to choose how they live their life, being single, married, gay, straight, parent, non-parent etc and I dont have the right to judge anyones choices.

      Maybe I also got a bit trigged by the subject. There are so many people around me who thinks you sholuld not travel with small kids, and I just dont get it. I wanna live now and not wait for anything. We are not wealthy (Im a teacher, my husband has a small construction-company, typical swedish working/middle-class) so its not like we have a ton of money and can travel anywhere we want at any time.

      My last thing, I do get that trips become different with kids. If me and my husband had gone on some of our trips by ourselves it would have been more restaurants, museums and spas than strolling beaches, playgrounds and amusement parks. We would probably sleept in and been out more at night. When we were in LA, we were up by 5 (jetlagged) and ready to hit the empty free-ways and in bed by 8. If we had gone to LA by ourselves we probably had gone to more restaurants and seen a live-taping of a tv-show or something, but with kids it was a lot of strolling around, visiting playgrounds, eating burgers and icecream and seeing my then 8 year old son walking around the National History Museum with an old (very charming) man looking at dinosaurs and using his skills in the English language for the first time and bonding with an american stranger over their love of dinosaurs. And as a parent (and I know I dont speak for all of us) thats a more memorable moment than any spa.

    • Thanks for doing this brave episode, Elsie and Emma! I enjoy episodes like this. That being said, just wanted to follow up on Emma’s opinions on traveling with kids. Not everyone has grandparents who can simply take the kids for a week. My parents both work full-time. Not all grandparents are retired and trying to babysit kids whenever their adult children want to go galavanting. Other people live no where near grandparents. But I agree, if you can and you want to, you shouldn’t feel guilty about traveling without the children in stow.

      • I hate lucite!! It drives me crazy how so many home organising blogs and brands (I.e. the home edit) LOVE pushing lucite-everything when it is sooooo terrible for the environment. I think there’s a general expectation at this point to have SOME kind of sustainability awareness and it makes my skin crawl to see lucite in everyone’s homes these days.

    • Well said Jess, and I completely agree with your “unpopular opinion”.

      We traveled with our baby because WE wanted the memories. No one needed to tell us that our 9 month old wasn’t going to remember hiking in the Italian Dolomites. Duh, she’s a baby. But it’s one of our favorite places to travel and once we had a child we thought it would be super fun for us to experience it with her. And it was! It was also really hard! It was an intentional choice, not made out of guilt, and we’ll do it again as soon as travel is an option.

  • I totally agree a dishwasher is not necessary, I basically hand wash all my dishes BUT I have a super weird need for things to be sanitized if possible by super hot water or steam. So, I still run all my dishes through the dishwasher afterwards, not to clean off any food really, but to sanitize them in the hot steam and water. It makes me feel like they are so fresh and clean. It is probably why I also am obsessed with steam mopping everywhere, including the subway tile in my shower :D, if you haven’t tried using your steam mop attachments on grout it changes your life.
    Love the podcast, it is the best part of my Monday morning to get my day started! 🙂

  • Re Emma’s opinion on trips with kids: agree!! We have yet to take our 5yo on a “big” trip, and any travel we’ve done since he was born has been just me and my husband. There were also additional complications (allergies and diet among them) that are no longer factors, so we are excited to take a big trip *with* him! So I totally agree that it’s fine for parents to take trips without kids because some aren’t as fun, and it’s great to have adult time. But if you want to do trips with your kids, that’s great too! No hate for Emma or Elsie from me. 🙂
    My unpopular opinion is that alcohol is gross poison. 😬 I say this because I get awful hangovers from even a sip of something I find tolerable, so it’s not worth it. All beer and wine taste the same to me (not as each other, but all beer have something in common, and all wine have something in common). That being said, I don’t care if or what other people drink, I’m a convenient designated driver, and I do sometimes wish I could enjoy a delicious cocktail without being compromised for 1-3 days!
    Love the podcast!

  • i think its really sad that if you differ with someone over their political preference (your different opinion becomes a violent unpopular opinion) regarding republican vs democrat – that it is SO unpopular to be on the other side of someone (this year is a perfect example) that you are deemed 100% evil or bad. being able to differ in opinion (on all things) used to be the norm, now you are scorned, threatened and possibly harmed, fired or publicly shamed – i think it is a symptom of being so “right” or “wrong” minded that unpopular becomes capital W wrong and open minded goes right out the window. unpopular with tolerance and acceptance of a variety of views makes us all better. this is a big unpopular vs some of the smaller more fun things you mention, but its so oppressive these days that it feels like a complete shut down of a free country – all because of the hundreds if millions of people – half think differently from the other half. somehow this worked for hundreds of years, and now it’s not ok to have the so-called “unpopular opinion” – an interesting and sad time. i wish you would do a post or podcast about being open to people on both sides of the politics – you don’t have to agree AT ALL with the other side, but freedom for there to be two sides is or was the blessing of america.

    • Many of Trump’s policies – like not allowing trans people to enlist in the military, allowing employers to legally discriminate against LGBTQ people, and opening precious Alaskan rainforests for logging – go beyond a difference in “opinion.” If your “opinion” is that gay people don’t deserve the same rights as straight people, or you support migrant children being separated from their families, that shows a huge difference in moral character. Many people, myself included, have a very hard time reconciling beliefs that actively harm and subjugate others as “just opinions.”

      That’s not to say that Republicans and Democrats can’t discuss their differences, but I wanted to provide you with specific examples of why people may be feeling very divided.

    • Yeah. So tired of this type of comment. The problem isn’t that people stopped being able to accept political differences. Its that the Republican party has become more and more blatant with their racist, misogynist, immoral policies and the American people see it. We are not talking about differences in political spending or philosophy anymore- we are talking about right and wrong. You are correct, if you align yourself with Trump and Republicans in 2020 you are seen as “evil”, racist, and a bigot by many. That is because THE REPUBLICAN PARTY ARE RACIST BIGOTS AND YOU ARE TOO IF YOU SUPPORT THEM. Get on the right side of history, we have no more time for this sh*t. END of story.

        • As an outsider (im swedish) I do not get american politics at all. I dont know that much about Trumps policies but just by reading his tweets it’s ubeliveble that 70 million ( 7 times Swedens population) voted for him. It looks like Americans choose Trump because they are so afraid of socialism? There is a huuuge difference between communism and socialism.

          The scandinavian-socialism cost me 33 percent of my salary/mo (a bit more if you have a really high income). For that money we get free education from pre-school to university, free healthcare, free dental-care til youre 18 y/o, subvention daycare (maximum price is 1OO dollars/month), subvention medicins (if you buy medicin for more than 250 dollar/year), 480 days of paid parental leave, 80 percent of your salary on sickdays, 25-30 days/year paid vacation and so on. There are homless people in Sweden but they are few, we have a social security system that take care of people who are sick, old or have lost their jobs. But with that said Sweden is not an utopia, we have problems too!! Racism, unemploymnet, long waits for some medical procedures and terrible wheather! But Id take that over Trump anyday!

          • I love this episode!
            I am turned off by disney obsessions (characters, the business, etc) in adults. I get loving the theme parks, but beyond that I hate the disney obsession.
            I also hate game of thrones and harry potter. 🤷‍♀️

    • I agree, Tiffany. We are incredibly blessed to live in a democracy. We don’t have to understand or agree with everyone’s opinions, but we should at least be able to acknowledge and respect that other people are entitled to their own beliefs and truths without labeling and bashing them. Instead of snarky name calling, lets focus on sticking to our own values and creating positive change in the world.

    • I think it depends of the opinion, For example I am not tolerant of racism, sexism, and violence. So I guess if another person’s “unpopular opinion” falls into that category, then yeah I believe I should not “agree to disagree” with that person or tolerate that person at all. Now if you are talking about religion, conservative views, immigration… I can tolerate an unpopular opinion on those topics even if I disagree with it.

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