Episode #69: NY Goals Episode + Goodbye 2020

You can stream the episode here on the blog or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayTuneInPocket Casts, and Stitcher. You can find the podcast posts archive here.

Thank you so much to our sponsors for supporting our podcast!  Be sure to check out Magic Spoon, Ember and Calm for their special offer for podcast listeners.

Show notes: 

-OK, so we go over our 2020 goals and what we modified due to Covid.

-We share some goals we are setting for 2021.

-For personal style, we are big fans of The Curated Closet (we also love the workbook version!).

-Elsie’s huggie earrings.

-Haha. When I say “the weather is getting really nice” (we recorded these at the end of October—now you know our batch working secret). We worked ahead to have a bit of a holiday break!

-Emma talks about her second novel that she is currently working on.


-A few home books that have been inspiring the styles I want to try in our new home: Island Hopping, A Tale of Interiors, and Beige is Not a Color.

-We share work goals for A Beautiful Mess! We’re investing more in our podcast. In our first episode of January, we’ll share some of the subjects we’re covering in 2020.

The meme we talk about! It’s from @steven.

Thank you so much for supporting our podcast throughout 2020! You may have noticed that we just began to have more sponsors— this is GREAT NEWS because it means our podcast (business side) is working and sustainable! Thank you for supporting our podcast sponsors; we just created a page where you can get all their codes. Thank you for your support! xx- Elsie + Emma

Miss an episode? Get caught up!

Episode 69 Transcript

Emma: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast, and this is officially the last episode of Twenty Twenty.

Elsie: Goodbye 20 20, we’ll totally miss you.

Emma: (laughs) This week’s episode is all about goals, one of our favorite subjects and New Year’s goals are something we have big feelings for. This week, we’re chatting about how we modified our 2020 goals…

Elsie: Uh huh. (laughs)

Emma: Yeah. And what we achieved and what we didn’t achieve as well as our big goals for 2021.

Elsie: Woo! I’m excited for 2021. It can’t come soon enough.

Emma: Yes. I really can’t emphasize that enough.

Elsie: (laughs) OK, so first we’re going to kind of go through our 2020 goals and like the what happened, I just listen to our 2020 goals episode from last New Year’s and we were all pumped up and we had achieved all our goals last year. I feel like this year is very different. Yeah. 2020 was not what we expected. I didn’t hit all my goals and I’m not sad about it. I’m…it’s fine. So if you didn’t hit your goals this year, you got a thumbs up for me. (laughs)

Emma: Yeah, did you survive? Then you made it, because this was a tough, tough year. One for the books. That’s for sure.

Elsie: Yes.

Emma: All right. So let’s review, because I seriously had to ask you. I was like, what were my goals last year? I knew I did one of them. But I had like three. And I was like, I don’t even remember. I hopefully I did it early in the year.

Elsie: She definitely did the big kahuna. We all know the novel, The quarantine novel!

Emma: So that was one of mine was finishe my first novel, my first work of fiction. Work on my personal style, and then I wanted to take an online cooking class or baking class, something along those lines. I talked about making a mirror cake last year, which I never did. So here’s my recap. So I did write my first work of fiction…

Elsie: Woooo!! (claps)

Emma: Finished that, I guess in the summer? I don’t even remember now, in summer or early fall. And that was great. I’m currently working on another one and I kind of, I did an update a few episodes back about where I’m at with publishing that first book, which I called Cloud Nine. There’s that, so I did that. So there you go. I did something this year. Woo hoo. (laughs)

Elsie: Really, really good job on that, though, because writing a novel in quarantine, it is so romantic.

Emma: Well, it’s something you can do at your house. So good thing that was on the list! And then I did work on my personal style. I would say that I did work on that. I haven’t been working on it as much lately, but I did that pretty early in the year and carried it throughout the year. I have what I would consider kind of a uniform that I wear all the time and I like it and I’m happy with it. And then I add a little pieces…

Elsie: I’ll interject to say when we do our Zooms and Skypes, meetings constantly, Emma always is the cutest one. And she wears makeup and she looks put together and I come on there in my pajamas and it’s just like very clear to everyone where we stand. So you did, you did a good job.

Emma: I would say you have the highs and the lows, where it’s like you either got ready and you look really put together and a really cute outfit like you look like an Instagram girl, you know, like the headband and a dress and the boots and everything, or you’re in your yoga pants or your pajamas.

Elsie: This is accurate.

Emma: And I’m in the middle. I’m like never really quite making it to the super cute level, but I always feel like I have an outfit that I’m happy with and it fits me and I have a couple of accessories that I will…

Elsie: Agree to disagree. She looks cute as hell and everyone knows it. Adorable.

Emma: It is very manageable and I’m very happy with it. But I will say it’s not, and you can tell by the way I’m explaining it, it’s not that exciting. It’s probably like someone who’s like, I eat basically the same thing every day and it’s very healthy and I’m happy with it. But now and again, I’m a little bored with it. And I’m like, that’s I guess how I would describe my personal style right now is I’m like, OK, I feel like I did my goal and I’m happy with it. I have my uniform. I feel like I know what looks good on my body type. I feel like I know kind of how to do my hair. If I only have 15 minutes to get ready. I’m like, this is it. This is good. But I am a little bit bored with it where I’m like, OK, I think I’m ready to add a couple more fun things.

Elsie: Gonna interject some fun. That’s exciting.

Emma: Now and gain, like a few more splurge pieces or a few more like, oh, how about we experiment a little more with earrings or I don’t know, whatever. I never wear earrings though, because when I have to wear a mask, when I go out, one time I got my mask, caught in my earring and then it freaked me out.

Elsie: You should get little huggies like me because these are so comfy I just keep them in all the time.

Emma: That’s what I need because I love statement earrings, but I have found with the mask I never end up wearing them because I got one caught and it freaked me out.

Elsie: Yeah, I don’t wear big earrings much right now either.

Emma: Yeah, well your little girls too, I feel like dangly earrings is just really asking for it. (laughs) So yes. You got to watch it with that.

Elsie: Yeah, oh my gosh.

Emma: Anyway, so novel, check. Personal style, did pretty good. Do feel like I’m ready for a little addition, I guess is what I would say on that one. And then take an online cooking class or baking class. I did not get that one done. Here’s what I did get done. I know what I want to take and I signed up. I wanted to do a master class, which they have a bunch of really cool stuff on their site. So I signed up for that. And I was going to do it in like late September and then October. That was like, this is my time. It’s getting towards the end of the year I got to do my pasta class or there was this like French pastry class that looked really fun.

Elsie: It looks fun.

Emma: And my life got a little weird, so I put that on the back burner, but I’m still signed up. And it was an annual like a year-long subscription. So I’m hoping to still do that. I would like to do it in like January or February. I feel like I’ll be stuck at home even more because of the weather. So I’m like, OK, maybe that’ll be a good time to make some pasta, make some French pastries, whatever.

Elsie: Gosh, yes.

Emma: So even though I didn’t quite make it, I’m still kind of optimistic about it, I guess. I don’t know. So that’s how I did.

Elsie: I’m a big fan of rolling over a goal. Like if you still want the goal, just like roll it over to the next year, you know what I mean? Especially after 2020. I’m rolling over some goals if you can’t tell. (laughs) Ok, so my goals were to take a photo every day with an SLR and I did it a little bit. Not great at all. I would, I would call it a fail. I could do…well but I still want to do it. I still think it’s a great idea. But I did move two times. Right now, I don’t even know where my camera is. I have a few things to get in place before that is going to be like a thing that I can do again. But I still think it’s a great goal and I still have little kids and it still makes sense to try it again this year. The other, the next one I wrote running LOL. OK, so I was like, I’m going to train a half marathon and I will say I did try. I downloaded a training plan and I went running/walking a bunch, quite a lot, especially since we’ve lived here. We have a beautiful little park very nearby. I can go on my lunch break. It’s very…

Emma: This is a good running neighborhood.

Elsie: Yeah, it’s a great and the weather’s getting really nice. But did I run ten miles at all this year? Absolutely not. Ddidn’t do that…

Emma: Over the course of the whole year I bet you did, right?

Elsie: Yes. And you guys know I had my little roller skating phase. And other than that, I’ve pretty much been running and walking in pretty parks listening to podcasts. And I honestly, I’m going to call it all good because…

Emma: I’d give that like a C plus or B minus. That still sounds pretty good, is what I would say. Like still sounds like you are getting out there.

Elsie: I didn’t get the goal, but this was a really hard year and I lowered my expectations quite a bit.

Emma: Yeah.

Elsie: Because our kids have been home almost all year. Yeah. From daycare. No daycare almost the whole time.

Emma: That changes how much time you have to, you know…

Elsie: It changes everything and that’s cool. And then yeah. My other note here is “I did bad at everything, oh well.” (laughs) I really feel that! Like if this wasn’t your year for certain things, that’s fine. You know, like I just don’t feel bad or have any regrets for any of it. I’m happy with what I did get done. You know, we surprisingly or unexpectedly moved two times and, you know, we had a global pandemic to deal with and little kids. And, you know, life’s not perfect and it really doesn’t have to be, so feeling good. But I am excited to make new goals for the New Year because we don’t know, maybe next year will be better.

Emma: Might as well “Glass half full” this situation.

Elsie: Yes.

Emma: Because what other choice is there? So…

Elsie: Yeah. And I feel like even when you make a goal, even if you do twenty-five percent more than you would have done, you’ve still done something, you know that you weren’t going to do? So I would rather make a goal and like get some progress than not make it and not get any progress. Right. Let’s talk about 2021. I’m so excited about the subject of 2021.

Emma: I think I have less goals than you, so I’ll go first.

Elsie: Wait wait, should we do our sponsor break?

Emma: Oh yeah.

Elsie: OK, sponsor break time.

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Emma: So I have a number of things going on in my life, so it’s hard for me to really picture 2021 at this point. And I also will say…

Elsie: Which I feel like that’s a very relatable thing. Like a lot of people are like this was not my year, this is not my season, this is not my time. I don’t feel like making goals.

Emma: Right.

Elsie: So maybe you can speak to those people.

Emma: Normally I am a very decisive person and I’m very goal-oriented. I think it just is for me a mechanism of going through life. It gives me kind of anchor points to hold on to. And I just like it. It makes me feel like I’m on track and like I’m doing OK and I know what’s going on and I like having a plan. So I definitely feel very adrift in my life right now, which is strange for me. And I don’t — I can’t say I like it, but I do feel like I’m probably going to learn a lot from it. So I’m trying to just roll with it and stay open and have a good attitude and have perspective because it could be worse, that’s for sure, and I have a lot I’m grateful for. But anyway, I’m also…we are recording this podcast a little bit ahead of time. So I’m going to tell you about a goal that’s kind of for 2021 slash, I’ve been working on it by the time you hear this. So I’ve been working on — I’ve mentioned this a little bit on the podcast. I’ve been working on my second novel, my second work of fiction. I don’t know what I’m going to call it, but currently it’s called Handmade Murder. That’s just like the file name that I gave it because I have to save something to my desktop and my hard drive. So Handmade Murder. And it’s a crime thriller, I guess you could say.

Elsie: She means handmade as in like made by hand. Not Handmaid’s Tale Handmaids, by the way.

Emma: Yeah, handmade like Etsy.

Elsie: Yes.

Emma: Etsy murder. New name. No, just kidding. Etsy would not like that. (laughs)

Elsie: So I’m working on that, and I’m wanting to finish that in 2021 and hopefully get it published, because part of why I decided to hold a little bit on Cloud Nine is I’m moving it towards middle-grade fiction, which I’m really excited about. But it’s a genre or reading level that isn’t exactly something that adults tend to…I mean, some adults read it for sure, but it’s a little bit younger than that. So I was wanting my first work of fiction to be something that adults would read. And not everyone likes a thriller. Not everyone likes something dramatic and dark. And I totally get that. But I just want it to be a reading level and a genre that’s accessible to adults. So that’s really kind of my big one for 2021 outside of just keep up with work and, you know, keep up with my health and be a good person. You know like all the normal — what I would consider baseline life, my big kind of thing for 2021 that I’d like to accomplish is finish Handmade Murder or whatever it’s going to end up being called and maybe work towards getting it published or get it published.

Elsie: I’m so freaking proud of you Emma. You’re doing such a good job writing your second novel.

Emma: Well wait till you read it. You might be like this is not that great or maybe you love it. I don’t know. Do you like murder?!

Elsie: I kind of know the story.

Emma: Yeah, I have told you the story.

Elsie: And I actually don’t like murder. I do not listen to true crime. I’m the only basic bitch who doesn’t listen to true crime and that…oh, I should have put that in the unpopular opinions. Ugh Damn. It! OK, well I missed an opportunity there but anyway but I think the story she has cookin is very clever and very, very creepy. So it’s exciting.

Emma: Thanks! It’s very much about jealousy and the logical conclusion, if it’s taken too far, take it to an unhealthy place. So I think it will be, I hope it’ll be something that’s fun and enjoyable and thought-provoking, but also just straight-up entertaining and a little bit creepy and fun. So that’s my goal with it and I’m having fun writing it. So, yeah. There you go.

Elsie: Beautiful.

Emma: All right. So what are you doing in 2021? Becuase I think you got more going on than me.

Elsie: 2021: I’m excited to meet you. OK, so my I will say to start with, my expectations for myself are so low and I think that that’s healthy. 2021 is going to be a. For me, it’s mom time in my life. Yeah, like being a mom is like my number one. I’m not like that’s not one of my goals. It’s just like my whole life. So keep that in context.

Emma: What was that chart that you showed me the other day, that was like just on Instagram? Can you summarize that a little bit?

Elsie: Oh my gosh, let’s come back to that at the end, because I really want to talk about that. And I really, really, really love it.

Emma: That’s what I’m thinking of with the mom life thing. But yeah, we come back to it.

Elsie: OK. Yes.

Emma: I just loved it. I keep thinking about it every day since you showed me.

Elsie: Let’s close out with that because I was crying about a meme you guys. So OK…

Emma: Well it’s charts. (laughs)

Elsie: Yeah. (laughs) OK, so my 2021 for fun goals are #1, I’m going to learn ceramics. So I was actually going to do it for my birthday this year. But life is just like going on a different time schedule, let’s put it that way. And I’m just not, I have to clean out my garage. That’s step one. And my friend, my Instagram friend who’s shop is called The Coy Collection. She taught me, like, how you can put your kiln in the garage and like, how many inches around it you need to have and like things like that. Like what kind of, I have to get a new outlet installed for my electrician. So it’s very exciting. I’m very excited. So I’m going to get a small kiln where I can do — it’s total hobby. I’m really excited to make my own dishes, though. I’ll say that and my own mugs and stuff like that.

Emma: Yeah!

Elsie: Yeah. And like just make stuff with my kids. Also, I’m going to get a small, very, very inexpensive wheel just to try it because I am famously bad at using the wheel from our ceramics classes. (laughs).

Emma: To be fair, I don’t think you were really trying that hard. I think you just wanted to do it your way.

Elsie: I just only cared about glazing and I wanted to like do things like where you like cut with the cut with the knives. And like, I had my own — I wanted to do slab…

Emma: Well you had your priorities.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: That was not it at the time.

Elsie: Yeah. Like slab ceramics and wheel ceramics are two different things. I really just wanted to do the slab stuff, which I’m also planning to do. So like I’m literally going to make stuff with cookie cutters. It’s going to be so fun…

Emma: Like hand building.

Elsie: Yes. Hand-built ceramics. That’s the right term. Anyway, I just really, really am inspired by ceramics and I wanted a hobby that was like a creative hobby that was just for me, didn’t have anything to do with business…doesn’t really…I will share it on the blog, but doesn’t really have to do with the blog because I can’t teach this as a DIY because nobody’s going to have a kiln in their garage, like it’s a big point of entry and I know that. So it’s just like a fun thing that I want to do. And I’ve been thinking about it for years. And my other 2021 goal is, you guys know, we moved into a new house this year and I just want to take my time decorating some dream rooms. I’m on a three-year plan right now, but I also like kind of don’t care if I get it all done in three years or if it’s like five years. I just kind of want to go at a speed that feels inspiring. And so I’ve been talking to Emma about this, but I really feel like I’m in a transition of trying out a new style for our home, which is really exciting. The last couple homes I was in a very mid-century, mindset, especially our first Nashville home, I was basically emulating like Palm Springs modern sixties style, as hard as I possibly could, because it was just so… and I feel like it’s like exciting to emulate something that you love.

Emma: Yeah for sure.

Elsie: Like it was like a master class in Frank Sinatra, you know, and I really loved it. But now that we’re in this house, I am still keeping some of that inspiration. But I’m also trying some new things and it feels really, really good. So I will link to the books that I’ve been obsessing about in the show notes. There’s several design books that are just like really inspiring me right now. And that can kind of give you an idea of what kind of style I’m thinking of. And it’s just in a word, I would say it’s more eclectic. It’s not based on one time or one era or one style. It’s just a little bit more bold and but also, like, more cozy, I don’t know.

Emma: A little more traditional at times.

Elsie: More traditional sometimes for sure. I feel like I am kind of like resistant on trends right now, although like a bold a bold room is a trend, too.

Emma: Sure.

Elsie: But like there’s some trends that are happening right now, like the strong eighties that like it’s like, I love that for you. I love that journey for you. It’s not going to come into my house right now at least. So, yeah, like the trends. And just like, you know, what’s popping up in some of the stores, like I’m just kind of feeling like I want to find like my own version of what classic means in my brain. It could be different for everyone, and that just feels really cool, I think.

Emma: Yeah, I think that’s what’s fun about home decor and lots of creative fields is that it can be different for everyone.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: And I think that’s fun. That’s why I love seeing the inside of people’s homes. I love when people share tours, all levels any levels, because I just love seeing people’s take on, you know, whatever they’re into.

Elsie: Yes. Same.

Emma: And especially if it’s something that I don’t really want to do in my home because it’s fun to see.

Elsie: I agree. I think I’m really inspired right now by anyone who’s like, I’m going to just do something different, you know? And that’s what I really want, is just to do something kind of different. So we’ll see. We’ll see how it comes out. And I’m excited to just, like, keep working on it throughout the year.

Emma: Love it.

Elsie: Woo! Yeah. It feels good.

Emma: You’re evolving.

Elsie: Yeah. It feels so exciting, you know, to try something new. It’s like a new blank slate. And like I felt myself falling back on my old patterns. And then all of a sudden I was like, no, I’m going to like make a whole new mood board. And it was kind of exciting. OK, so let’s talk about work goals. OK, so just like real quickly, I remember like in our early days of blogging, we used to do like a big goals post the end of every year and like, I’m not going to do that this year. So this counts as that.

Emma: This is it. Here you have it. (laughs)

Elsie: Here you have it. So our work goals for the New Year are we are really excited to kind of up our game on the podcast this year. We are going to kind of do a little bit of a relaunch in a couple of weeks for January. So we’re excited to kind of like go harder at the podcast. So those of you who have been supporting us and loyal. Thank you. And I think you’re going to get a big reward.

Emma: Yeah. And those of you who wanted us to quit, bad news! I’m just kidding. (laughs).

Emma: Who would be listening who doesn’t want to listen?! Like, I’m just kidding around.

Elsie: Yeah, well, something I have learned throughout this process that I didn’t know before is that it’s very rare for some like someone who’s been following A Beautiful Mess for a long time, who just isn’t into podcasts, it’s very rare for us to convert them into a podcast listener.

Emma: Yes.

Elsie: A lot of our new listeners are coming from other podcasts and they are people who already love podcasts. And now that I accept that, I’ve accepted it. But it took me a while, like I think I wanted to, like, convert people who didn’t want to be converted at first. So, we’re over it.

Emma: That’s always how it is. Then you just have to accept people as they are…it’s a journey.

Elsie: Because I was a very podcast resistant and the reason we started is because I got really into John and Sherry’s podcast when we were going to China, and I felt like this like very strong connection with them. And then I realized, like, I want to have that connection with my audience.

Emma: Right.

Elsie: We’re going to start a podcast. And Emma didn’t even believe me at first. She was like, right.

Emma: Well I had been bugging you about it for a little while, because it seemed like something we could do.

Elsie: Yeah. Like five years.

Emma: But Elsie is one of those people. She’s a huge dreamer. But if you try to get her to do something that she doesn’t want to do, it’s like — you’re doing the wheel at pottery class when you weren’t ready for it. It’s like, no, this is not going to happen. You have to wait till Elsie’s ready for it. And then that’s your moment to throw up the sail and catch the wind because it’s now it’s happening!

Elsie: Oh I love that!

Emma: Yeah.

Elsie: Nice. OK, so other things we’re going to focus on this year. We love blogging. You guys, like we still love it so much and maybe we’ll get our eight thousandth post this year.

Emma: I mean. Yeah, well, I don’t know. We’re probably not, it’ll probably the next year realistically, given our schedule, like how often we…but we do live blogging. And I feel like a lot of times people ask, like, are you still into it or are you just doing it for the money now? Or I don’t know. I think people have this idea that we’re either going to run out of ideas or get bored with it or that it’s one of those things that’s tiresome.

Elsie: Yeah, I’ll tell you the truth for the record, yes, we definitely do it for the money, obviously. But we do like doing it! Yeah, like it’s still fun.

Emma: We do talk about like someday, many years from now whenever we’re retired, you know, and we don’t even know what that…

Elsie: What does that even mean? But we are always kind of like, I think I’ll still kind of blog. But just like the schedule won’t be what it is now, you know, it won’t be a full time thing anymore. But we love blogging and I feel like I love it more every year. So…

Elsie: Send us a message if you promise to still read our blog when we’re all grandmas and we’ll keep going just for you.

Emma: Ok, we’re going to take a quick break and we’ll be right back.

Elsie: This is one of the most magical yet hectic weeks of the year, even though the holidays are looking different this year. If you’re anything like us, I bet you’re still trying to find ways to create special memories, which can also be stressful. So let’s take a minute for ourselves and talk about how important sleep is and how to get more of it. We’re excited to partner with Calm, the app designed to help ease stress and get the best sleep of your life. They’ve created a special offer for ABM listeners this holiday season to help you relax and enjoy the season. Calm has a whole library of programs designed for healthy sleep, like soundscapes, guided meditations, and over one hundred sleep stories narrated by soothing voices like Stephen Fry, Kelly Rowland and my favorite Laura Dern. Over eighty-five million people around the world use calm to take care of their minds and get better sleep for A Beautiful Mess listeners, Calm is offering a special limited-time promotion of 40 percent off the Calm premium subscription at calm.com/abeautifulmess. That’s 40 percent off and limited access to CALM’s entire library and new content is added every week. Get started today at calm.com/abeautifulmess. That’s calm.com/abeautifulmess. Happy holidays from the Calm and A Beautiful Mess team and thank you so much for supporting our podcast.

Elsie: Ok, and other than that, we have like, this is one of those like vague teasers. We have stuff we can’t say yet, but it’s amazing and it’s crazy and it’s dramatic and it’s going to be incredible. And you have to keep listening if you want to find out in the new year.

Emma: Yeah, we have some pretty big things on the horizon, but we just can’t announce them quite yet. And I’m sorry, because how annoying is that? But I just promise. Hang tight. It’s going to be…It’s going to be a ride.

Elsie: Bonkers.

Emma: So, yeah.

Elsie: OK, let’s talk about my meme. So one of my friends repost — “your friend reposted a meme. Oh, wow. That’s unique!” (laughs).

Emma: News!

Elsie: And it’s called…the first slide, says “the six most important graphs you will ever see.” And I don’t know why I clicked. I actually I know why I clicked on it. It’s because the person who posted it was Caroline, who I love and trust.

Emma: She’s awesome. Yeah. That’s a great title too. I mean, that’s pretty grabbing.

Elsie: So the first slide I’m going to kind of like narrate a meme for you of slides (laughs) and I hope that’s OK, but it’s it’s really worth it. Ok, get ready to cry. All right. The first slide is hours a day you spend with your friend and it says before the age of twenty, you’ll spend a lot of time with your quote-unquote friends. After thirty, you’ll spend a small amount of time with just a few important friends. And the chart just goes like from very high to low. And then it stays the same for the rest of your life. The second one is family. After the age of twenty, you’ll spend a small amount of time with your family and parents before the end of their or your life. And it shows it going basically down by four times and staying there.

Emma: So it’s kind of like when you’re a little kid your parents take care of you or your guardians or whomever, and eventually you move out of the house or things happen like that, and then you still see your parents or guardians or whomever. But it kind of you know, it’s a pretty dramatic chart. And again you can see this in the shownotes.

Elsie: Exactly. It goes from spending four hours a day, you know, before the age of twenty to spending between one and zero hours a day. The next one is coworker. This one’s really interesting, I think. You’ll spend a huge amount of time between the age of twenty and sixty with the people you work with and it just shoots up and is around four hours a day. And that’s, you know, an average obviously. And then it goes down after age 50 to 60. So, yeah, it’s a huge, huge amount of time. And this is something I think people don’t talk about enough is like when you are choosing a career to like choosing who you’re going to work with is a big part of that, like what kind of people you want to spend your life with. Also, like when we chose to work from home, that was like a huge decision definitely.

Emma: Whenever I interview people, which we don’t hire all the time or anything. But whenever I interview people, especially in A Beautiful Mess, because that’s where I work full time, I do think about like, what’s it going to be like to spend a lot of time with this person? Because even though we work remote, we have lots of calls, lots of texts, lots of emails, you know, and so there is still a lot of time to spend with them. And it’s like, is this going to be the person who’s good at the job? And also…

Elsie: Work trips.

Emma: Yeah, work trips, obviously not this year, but generally, you know, like you want to be around positive people and you also want to be that person, that positive influence in someone’s life who’s like has the boundaries and professionalism but hopefully builds each other up in some way because you spend a lot of time together. So…

Elsie: Yes, this next one is a heartbreaker, OK? It’s children. If you’re a parent, you’ll spend the most time with your children between the ages of twenty five and fifty. After that, you won’t see them often and it goes from like a huge spike to very, very low.

Emma: Right.

Elsie: And then, partner, the time you spend with your partner will continue to increase from the day you meet them, until the day you die. And it does just kind of show it going up and up and up. Alone: after 30 years old, the amount of time you spend by yourself increases until the day you die. And this is like the only chart where it’s just like up, up, up, up, up, up the whole time. Yeah. So six lessons from this. You will only ever have a small group of very important friends: invest more in them and lessen the meaningless relationships.

Emma: Right.

Elsie: I love all these. This is just like really powerful to me. All right. Next, your time with your parents will be limited, create as much time as you can for them and make that time special. A huge amount of time will be spent with the people you work with. So make sure you work with people you love. That’s so good. Once you have kids, the time you get to spend with them will be short. So make the most of it. (fake crying sounds) I’m really crying for real. Who you choose to be a romantic partner is one of the most important life decisions you will ever make. Choose wisely and don’t settle.

Emma: Aw.

Elsie: And then the last one you have to learn to love yourself. Depend on yourself. Sorry…

Emma: She’s crying too much.

Elsie: (laughs) You have to learn to love yourself, depend on yourself and pursue your hobbies because as you age, you’ll spend more and more time on your own. So yeah, that I. I thought that was just so incredibly powerful and put a lot of things into perspective that I needed right now. So I hope it’s helpful for some of you as you set your New Year’s goals.

Emma: Yeah, it’s just a big perspective maker and it is a little bit melancholy, but I also think it also has this very like, very hopeful things to it. And it also really makes me think about that thing that I feel like we’ve said a bunch of times on here. But just how there’s different seasons of your life. And I think sometimes it’s so easy to kind of look at somebody else’s season or be like, oh, I’m hoping for the next season, but you really have to, like, appreciate the time that you’re in and recognize what it is for what it is and choose to prioritize the things that matter to you and that you love and the people you love and and also taking care of yourself and. Yeah, I don’t know.

Elsie: That’s beautiful.

Emma: Really loved it. Love that meme.

Elsie: Yes I know. I think I tried to show it to Emma and Jeremy at like 6:00 in the morning.

Emma: She did and I was kind of really setting the tone for my day. (laughs)

Elsie: Wow. (laughs) But anyway, OK, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Thank you for your support throughout 2020 and we will see you in 2021!

Emma: Bye!

Read More
  • Hi! Love the podcast! I’m trying to order an Ember with your code, but it seems like your code isn’t working anymore? I’m not sure if it was a limited time offer for ABM listeners or if I should reach out to Ember customer support. Thanks for a fun brand partner!

    • Hi Kristen! It should be working- we will email them, but feel free to do the same!

  • I’m late catching up on my podcasts after the holidays, but also wanted to chime in that I’ll also read the blog as long as it’s around. I love the podcast too, but I read the blog in bits and pieces when I need a little break from something and the podcast while driving somewhere or cleaning, so they have totally different purposes for me.

  • Your pottery hobby goals sound so exciting, Elsie!

    On the point of the high barrier to entry with a kiln purchase, I wanted to note that many locations will have places that will fire pieces for you. A pottery wheel and clay are a lot more attainable.

    I live in Kansas City and the prices for firing at the KC Clay Guild are very reasonable!

    My family has a wheel and we just started learning in October (the kids LOVE it). We are mostly recycling clay as we learn, but we’re planning on saving up our “keepers” to fire when we feel it is safe to do so.

  • Hi, long time reader of the blog! Your podcast is the first I listened to ever and love it! I am even thinking about finding other fun & interesting podcasts to listen to!

  • I’ve loved listening to your podcast this year, it’s been a bright spot – a simple treat I get to look forward to every Monday morning during my commute – in this shit show of a year. I definitely feel like I’ve gotten to know you two so much more in this short amount of time listening than I have over the many years of being ABM reader. Anyways, Happy Holidays – hope you get to relax and enjoy and recharge….and onward to 2021!

    • Just want to say that I will 1000% still read the blog and listen to the podcast when we’re all old ladies. Been reading since I was in college and never gonna stop! ❤️❤️

  • Oh man, thanks for making me cry at the end there — lol! Seriously though I wanted to say that I really enjoy your podcast! Thank you for making it — it truly has been a joy and a comfort this year! Cheers ladies!

    • Thank you, that truly means a lot! Every time someone says our little podcast has brought them some comfort or just a positive distraction this year I feel our work here is done.

      But, I mean, we’re going to keep going too. It just feels good to mean something, even if it’s something small. 🙂

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