Episode #72: What To Expect When EMMA’S EXPECTING!

Hello, hello. We’re sharing a HUGE announcement in this week’s episode!

You can stream the episode here on the blog or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayTuneInPocket Casts, and Stitcher. You can find the podcast posts archive here.

Show Notes:

-Emma shares details including how she found out, how far along she is, her pregnancy experience so far, and plans for her nursery.

-Emma shares the gender of her baby via an early chromosome test.

-Here’s the wallpaper Emma is considering for her nursery.

-That’s it! There aren’t very many links this week because we were mostly telling a very personal story the whole episode. Thank you soo much for your support!

 

Also a big thanks to this week’s sponsors: Modern Fertility and BetterHelp! If you’re looking for any codes on these or other podcast sponsors, you can check out our full list on this page.

xx

Episode 72 Transcript

Emma: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast and have I got some news for you…I have been very excited to share something with you all for many months now. And today is the day. And you might want to be sitting down for this one!

Elsie: Oh, my God. We have been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to share this exciting news. So…

Emma: It feels that way. It also feels like it hasn’t been any time at all since I found out. So it’s just a weird, weird time warp. For so many reasons. To really tell you the news, I feel like I need to back up a little bit because it will make so much more sense. So but if you saw the title of this podcast, you might know where I’m going with this, but I’m going to back up for one second just to give you a more full picture. So as all our listeners probably know, my husband Trey and I are currently separated and this happened back in late September. So Trey and I care a lot for each other. But we’ve had sort of some ongoing things in our marriage for a few years. But we were both really wanting to work it out and we were both, you know, wanting to make things work. In fact, we were even trying to get pregnant and we had been trying to get pregnant for about nine months. But we came to a place where it felt like the best decision for us was for us to separate for some time. And so Trey and I discussed that and I had decided to move into the holiday house because I had that available, which I was really grateful for. So…made that decision and I had planned to move out that weekend. I think it was a Wednesday when we decided this. And I planned to move out that weekend, you know, just finish out the work week and then pack up and move that weekend.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: So the next day I had been planning to see a friend to go for a socially distanced walk, just like after work. There’s just something I at the time was doing with my friends. It was again back in September. It was still warm out and it was just a way that you could, like, see friends but not be so worried about covid because you could stay apart but still talk and just be outside. But I just, I was a mess. And so I didn’t feel like I could see her. And I hate to be flaky, but I just was like, I don’t think I can see her without crying. And I’m not really ready to talk about things yet. So I texted her. I just said I’m not feeling well, so I won’t be able to go for that walk. And then I was like, oh, I don’t want her to think I have COVID, so then I was like, I just PMS problems. And so I typed that out, sent the text and as soon as I did, I just — it like immediately dawned on me that I should be on my period, but I wasn’t. And any woman who’s tried to conceive probably knows this. You’re very aware of your cycle because you’re trying to get pregnant. So you track it and you are just really, really aware because every single month, you know, as your period comes, it’s this disappointment. And so you’re just really, really aware of that timing. And so as soon as I sent that text, “I can’t go on our walk, PMS problems”, but I wasn’t on my period, I realized I probably should be and I wasn’t feeling like it was about to start. So I just had this, like, feeling where I was like, oh, my gosh, wouldn’t it be crazy if now I was pregnant? Like, now that we’re going to…we’ve agreed that we need to separate. And so since we had been trying to get pregnant, I had this ovulation kit at my house and it came with pregnancy tests. So I didn’t — I was like, there’s just no way. But I’m just going to take one of these tests and then I won’t have to worry about it anymore. So I took one and it was positive. And I had taken these before because I’d always been hoping and I’d never had a positive one. But I still like just very immediately felt, you know, 1000 emotions because. I’ve wanted to be a mom for years, so of course, I felt so much joy and hope, but I also was like, oh, it’s way too soon to even know. This is probably not an accurate test. Don’t get your hopes up, because I’m very used to every month when my period comes being disappointed, you know, that I’m not going to be a mom. So I’m very used to that feeling. And it’s very it’s very painful as any any woman or any parent going through that knows. So I was very quickly like, oh, this probably isn’t accurate, you know? And of course, I knew I was going to go through a separation. And so there’s a lot of feelings there as well. So I but I was very freaked out because I’d never had a positive pregnancy test before. So I just drove to the nearest grocery store and I bought two more brands of pregnancy tests and each of them came with two tests. So I took all four tests. So I took five pregnancy tests this day and they were all positive. And I just I had them all sitting on the bathroom counter, every single one of them, just positive, positive, positive. And I just I took a photo of it because I wanted to remember the feeling because…sorry…I was just so happy, so, so happy, even though, like, it’s not exactly how I pictured that moment, of course. But I was so happy and so grateful. And I still really, really feel that way every single day. So, so grateful. So. Yeah, I’m pregnant, and I told Trey, of course, that night when I’ve, as I’ve told a few friends, everyone’s like, did you tell Trey? I’m like, Well, of course I told Trey! (laughs) Like, yeah, I would be weird, be weird not to. So I told him. And he was, of course, filled with lots of emotions too, because of the circumstances. But he’s also very excited. You know, we were trying to get pregnant and Trey is going to be an amazing father and we are still currently separated. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with that. But we’re…we’re friends. We care about each other. We work together. And we will be really great co-parents if that’s where life’s headed. And our child is already very, very wanted, very, very loved by all sides of their family. So there’s no question in that area of my life. So I’m really grateful for that as well. And then a little more news. So.

Emma: (laughs)

Elsie: So this was back in September. So right now I’m I’m kind of nearing as you hear this recording, I’m nearing the middle of my second trimester. And so we got a chromosome test. And what those are for is sometimes it’s just a standard and sometimes it’s an elected thing that you choose to do. For us, it was elected. Our hospital doesn’t just do them, but anyway, we elected to do it. And it’s mainly to check for genetic disorders and different things like that, things that you could see from chromosomes. And one thing you can see from chromosomes is the gender. So we found out the gender kind of early. So this June, our due date is June 4th. We’re expecting a little boy.

Elsie: Awwww!

Emma: I’m going to have a little son. Yep. And I plan to dress him like Derek Zoolander until he gets to make his own choices. (laughs) So, no, I don’t know. But yeah, I had really no preference, but it’s really fun to know and I’m just really, really excited. And Elsie has two girls. Our brother has a girl. So on my side of the family, this will be the first boy.

Elsie: It’s true!

Emma: He has a lot of girl cousins.

Elsie: Yes!

Emma: But in my friend group in Springfield, Missouri, where I live, a lot of the women I’m friends with, they’re moms and many of them have boys so they can teach me about being a boy mom, not that I think it’s that different, but still. So I think he’ll have a lot of friends and I’m really, really happy. And I think I’ve been so excited to share this. Obviously, I’m terrified of having a miscarriage as any expecting parent is because it is common. So I didn’t want to share it too soon and I still am really scared of that. But every day that goes by, I let a little more hope into my heart, you know, and…

Elsie: Oh Emma!

Emma: But I also, it’s been hard to you know, I’m going through a weird season where I am separated and there is a lot of grief and a lot of sadness in my life. But when people ask me how I’m doing, I, I also want to tell them, like, I’m so happy, I’m the happiest I’ve been in some years too, because I also have this other thing, which is that I’m going to be a mom. And it’s — those two things exist at the same time in my life right now. And it’s weird. And I never want to sound like I’m flippant about my marriage. I don’t feel that way. But I also have this other thing that I’m so happy about and so grateful for. And it feels like the beginning of some of the best years of my life because I’ve just wanted to be a mom for so long. So. So, yeah, that’s what’s happening for me. I…yeah. (laughs)

Elsie: I know everyone is going to be so, so happy for you. And I’m sure that most of you can probably just like tell this, but Emma is a very private person. Like, I think I’m more private than people think I am. She’s very private. She’s very, very private. So what happens in this episode is like her opening up and letting you in and basically, like, please don’t send her questions. We’re going to answer the questions now. She’s going to answer the questions. I’m going to be the moderator. I’m going to be the voice of you. And I will ask a couple of questions that have been commonly asked. And, yeah, no more questions after this. Just like, respect the boundary.

Emma: Well you can try. I think I’m pretty…

Elsie: I think people will but it’s always hard when you’re a public figure and people want to know everything, you know?

Emma: OK, we’re going to take a short break and then we’ll be right back.

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Elsie: So a couple of questions that people might be thinking. Tell us a little bit like how far along are you? What milestones have you hit? Like, if you want to talk about, like, seeing the ultrasounds, like things like that.

Emma: Yeah, yes. So yeah, my due date is June 4th. So sometime around there I’m nearing the middle of my second trimester. My first trimester was pretty tough. I think a lot of people probably have this experience, but I was extremely nauseous for like three months and it’s fine, it’s worth it. But yeah, I was pretty uncomfortable and I had these, like, ginger candies that I ate all the time. And it felt like basically the only thing that I could eat. I did eat, but I…it was kind of hard and I normally love eating. So it was a very strange three months for me, but yeah. So now I feel way better though. I feel basically normal. Just my pants don’t fit. So I’m doing the thing where you put like a hair tie, like a rubber band.

Elsie: Yeah.

Emma: In your loop, and you hold your pants together that way and then you put a belly band over it. So it kind of looks like you’re wearing an undershirt but you’re actually wearing a belly band because your pants don’t fit anymore. (laughs) It’s like they fit my legs, but they don’t fit my stomach. It’s like two tight.

Elsie: Awww Emma!

Emma: And I wear a lot of leggings so. Yeah. And yeah really I my review of pregnancy so far is like joy, joy, joy, because I get to be a mom, but it’s not the funnest thing I’ve ever done, you know. So it’s fine. It’s like being a little bit sick for three months and you know. Oh well whatever. But yeah. And so we the first time we had a doctor. So Trey goes with me to the doctor’s appointments because like I said, he’s very excited too. So at our first one where we were going to hear the heartbeat, they couldn’t get it to find it. And it turned out my placentas was on the top at the time, so it was just harder to hear it. And the ultrasound happened to be open. So my doctor took us back there and we got to see the little baby on the screen.

Elsie: Aww!

Emma: This was really early. So we got to see it a little earlier than I think some couples get to. So that was really fun. And I definitely think that was the moment for us both that was just you just see this tiny baby and I’m like, oh, that’s inside me because right now, I just feel like I’m nauseous all the time and, you know, every little thing like that, you believe a little more like, oh, I actually I’m going to have a baby because I think it’s hard for me to let my heart go there because I have had so much time of disappointment now. So but each little thing like that, I’m like, OK, yeah, that that that is a baby. It has a little head and a little body and it’s waving its tiny little arms at me like, OK. And I of course had to make a little Christmas ornament this past year that had our sonogram picture of our baby inside of it so I can put that up on the tree every year. I had it on it this year, but I, you know, kept taking it off when I would do pictures for A Beautiful Mess because I wasn’t showing that yet. But yes, we yeah. So seeing that was great. We have an upcoming appointment where we’ll get to do another ultrasound again and see how he’s grown. So I’m really excited for that. Yeah.

Elsie: Adorable. OK, so I have never been pregnant so I’ve always wanted to know, is maternity shopping fun or is it not fun. What do you think?

Emma: Yeah, I’m sure it’s different for every woman. I’m not a huge shopper. I feel like I’ve talked about this a little bit, like I am a very like, I have my uniforms, and that’s pretty much like I have a fairly condensed closet. I’m not really a minimalist. Like, I like to buy things, but I’m just kind of, I like a simple, I don’t like having to make a ton of decisions. Anyway, so that, and then also people have probably picked up on the fact that I am chronically cheap. So I think I’m not the best person because I’m like, oh, I’m only going to wear this stuff for, like, you know, through the pregnancy and then a little bit afterwards and…

Elsie: So the answer is no?

Emma: I pretty much haven’t bought…I’ve bought like three shirts so far and I have one pair of like maternity leggings like, like all the way maternity leggings, not just leggings that I can grow into. And that’s all I have so far. And I’ve kind of already identified all the things in my closet that I’m like, oh, and I have two belly bands, but I’ve identified all the things that I’m like, oh, this dress. I could probably wear this basically the whole time. Like it’s kind of a muumuu type dress. So I’ve kind of like finding all that stuff. And then if I need to buy one or two more things, I will. But I, I’m just not that excited to have a huge maternity wardrobe personally, it doesn’t spark joy for me, so I probably won’t have that many things. I’m just going to lean into the headbands and necklaces during that phase.

Elsie: Cool.

Emma: Like I’m wearing the same shirt for like three months, but I have a different headband on. So there you go. (laughs)

Elsie: That sounds good. Well, where wear some of those stretchy dresses? Because I love how stretchy dresses look on pregnant people they’re so freaking cute!

Emma: Yeah, the like Body Con. I know that’s so cute.

Elsie: OK, so have you. The decorator in me has to ask, have you been thinking about the nursery yet?

Emma: Yes, I have. So even before we knew gender, I was kind of dreaming about doing a nursery that had a lot of green and white, kind of a plant-themed, maybe some botanicals. And I feel like, you know, boy or girl, that’s great. So, yeah, that’s that’s what I’m planning. I have a wallpaper picked out that I’m like 90 percent on. I haven’t ordered it yet, but it’s — it looks like kind of vintage botanicals, a little bit of florals.

Elsie: Pretty!

Emma: But kind of like flowering weeds, which maybe that’s not a great way to describe it, but it looks like a field guide type illustrations, if that makes any sense. So, yeah, I’m going to do that kind of a plant theme, but not to theme-y. Just just green. I’ve always loved green. I think it’s very calming. So yeah, I’ll probably get some green blackout curtains and I need to figure out what crib I want and a changing table. Get myself the old rocking chair glider, you know, stuff like that. I’m putting it in the — what has been the playroom at the holiday house. That’s where I’m going to put the nursery just so I don’t have to walk up and down the stairs at night.

Elsie: Perfect room. It has a gigantic closet, so that will be nice.

Emma: Yeah. So yeah, I think it’ll be great. So that’ll be his room. And yeah I haven’t started that yet, but I’ve kind of started a little mood board and I’ll probably start fairly soon because I feel like time is going to start flying by in a way that I’m not prepared for. (laughs) So…hopefully.

Elsie: Yeah, I mean I feel like I know it’s like so different, but when I was waiting to adopt, it was one of the things that helped me pass the time. So maybe it would be a fun way to pass the time this spring while you’re waiting. And I mean, you have to do it anyway. I think it’s more, definitely more fun to do it before the baby arrives, if you can, so that you can just like, focus on the decorating part of it, you know what I mean?

Emma: Yeah. I think I’m going to like I know a couple of projects I want to do too. Like I want to make like a felt like kind of plant themed mobile for above the crib.

Elsie: Oh cute!

Emma: You, you know which…

Elsie: Fun!

Emma: It’s not like, you know, plants in a nursery….riveting. But you know, I’m into it so whatever. So.

Elsie: Oh my god, yeah no.

Emma: And little things like that…might do a little jean jacket for him, you know, just some little things that…

Elsie: You don’t have to pick a bizarre theme for your baby’s nursery. I feel like we picked kind of like simple themes. I think that going like on it, like a traditional childhood magic feeling room, like whatever that feels to you is what you should do. I love it.

Emma: Yeah. And I also kind of feel like someday the room that’s going to be his nursery might become my office someday and he might move to one of the rooms upstairs when he gets like his big kid bed and he he might be older, make a few more choices then like of if it’s, you know, or whatever he’s into, he’s into racecars or dinos or if he’s still into florals. Great, then we will do whatever for his room that gets his big kid bed and all that, and I will probably move into this room. So I feel like I’m also kind of picking something that kind of flows with the house because this room is right by the front door. And I don’t know.

Elsie: That’s smart.

Emma: Yeah, but I think it’ll be fun. I think it’ll be a really cute space for him to be in and for me to obsessively take all my new mom photos of him in all the time. Cuz I’ll be like, “everything he does is cute”, because I’m sure I’ll be exactly that kind of person.

Elsie: I can’t wait to see it. I’m very, very excited about the room. Maybe we’ll be able to do like a socially distanced baby shower. I’m hoping for that. I’ve been planning Emma’s baby shower for years, so we have to find way. I’m so excited. Yeah.

Emma: Yeah, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that too much because I’m like, the vaccine’s happening. So what is the timeline? I don’t know. So we’ll see. Yeah, we might have to have it outdoors but that’s OK.

Elsie: Whatever it requires, we’ll have some kind of baby shower and it’ll be amazing. OK, so I’m just going to say it the personal question that I know people just want to know, do you feel like this pregnancy is making you feel like you have to or you want to get back together with Trey more? Or like, is it swaying your decision? Are you planning to divorce? Like, what is your status there?

Emma: Yeah, so it’s definitely something I talk to my therapist a lot about. I talk to my family and my close friends and it’s something Trey and I talk a lot about. But yeah, it’s not really something I plan to talk very much about online, in part because I’m a private person. Also, though, I’m pretty aware that someday my son will be able to read or listen to anything that I put on the Internet. And so, you know, someday he may want to learn about this part of his parents’ journey. And I would like for him to learn it from us and from family. I think that makes a lot more sense than from the Internet. So I don’t really plan to share much about that. People know what my house looks like. So I, that’s part of why I even shared that we were separating, because I was like, well, everyone’s going to see that I’m living in a different house. So I feel like I have to address…

Elsie: People doing a little detective work…

Emma: Well, but yeah, yeah, we…Trey and I really, really care about each other. We’ve been, we were best friends for basically a decade and we’ve supported each other through our careers and in so many other ways. And I think we…I’m really excited to be a parent alongside him. I think he’ll be a great dad. And I also love his family, his parents, his sisters, all of the cousins that our son will have on that side of the family. They’re amazing. I’m so happy that my son has that family, so I’m thankful for all of that. But, you know, as far as other things, I don’t really plan to talk about that online. So, yeah, you go got to be my therapist to get the scoop. Sorry. And I only have one therapist so… (laughs)

Elsie: And I’ll just add to that. Leave her alone or I’ll kill you. Just kidding.

Emma: No you can ask and I can choose to not answer. So these are the choices we are all allowed to make.

Elsie: Well thank you for opening up about it so much. And I know people will be excited to follow your journey of becoming a mom and, you know, see your cute little baby whenever he comes along!

Emma: I am so excited!

Elsie: This is a joyful time. Like I’m sure everyone can relate with a time in your life when you had something joyful, mixed with something really difficult at the same time. And that’s just kind of how life is sometimes, like so many times. So…

Thank you so much for listening this week. We’re so grateful for you, our podcast family, we’re calling it a family now because we really do feel close. And I know Emma has felt your support this past week and also these past few months. So thank you for sending her those good thoughts. Keep sending them. And this is going to be a really exciting year, so thanks for following along and have a great week.

Emma: Bye!

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  • Emma, thank you for sharing this wonderful news with us. I am so very happy for you. As we grow up, we often find ourselves in the middle of equal parts joy and grief. Neither takes anything from the other. I loved hearing your joy this week!

  • Massive congrats Emma! What an exciting time for you and the whole family 🙂 Looking forward to following along the journey.

    • Emma,
      So so excited and happy for you! Having a boy is amazing and I love it and think you will too. Im excited for the possibility of seeing more content for baby boys on the blog. I’ve missed that since much of the content for parenting and children has been primarly for girls. I love seeing anything about parenting in general and gender doesn’t matter all that much, don’t get me wrong.

      Also, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your very personal experience with being seperated and pregnant. I seperated from my husband two months after having my son and got divorced in the hell year that was 2020. It was hard and I often felt alone in that situation because I felt like I didn’t fit into what was expected of me in terms of what my life looked like. Im still glad I took care of myself and that despite not staying together my ex and I are learning to be great supportive co parents. Good for you for doing what is best for you and your husband. I wish you all the best.

  • Ahhhh! I had to read the transcript because I was too excited to wait until I had time to listen to the episode.

    You’re going to be a great mum!

  • Congratulations Emma! I’m proud of you for opening up and sharing something so personal and exciting. We also struggled to get pregnant the first time, it took us about 2 years and many rounds of fertility treatments. Five years later we were blessed with three little girls, the second two thankfully came easily. You’re going to love being a mom. It’s the most challenging but beautiful thing I’ve ever done. The bond you will share with your son is unlike anything you’ll ever experience. My youngest is 5 months and every day I can’t believe this is real and they’re mine.

    • It’s been a journey but I am so very grateful. I feel grateful everyday. Also nervous, as I’m doing a new thing and being a mom, especially the newborn phase, looks equal parts intimidating and (for me) and wonderful. I can’t wait! 🙂

    • Happy birthday Emma and congrats. Cried some tears of joy for you just listening!!
      ❤️❤️❤️

  • Congratulations! I love listening to y’all’s podcast and love hearing Emma’s opinions always! So glad that she has this happiness to look forward to even during a hard season of life. Yay, Emma!

  • So beautiful Emma, what a sweet blessing!! Thank you for sharing this wonderful news with your listeners! This is my first time commenting, but your Podcast brings me so much joy!! I typically listen while I’m doing my spin workouts, your sister banter is comforting, insightful and inspiring! Thank you both💗

  • This is such a brave and amazing podcast! Thanks for sharing with us Emma! I had my son in March 2020, at the start of the COVID madness and on the other side of the world from my family and I know that now you’ve been gifted a well of strength now to be there for you and your new boy and it’s going to be the most beautiful, crazy, exciting mess. You’re the best. Go you!

  • Congrats to you and Trey! So thrilled for you! I had a pandemic baby, and some friends have, we’ve all concluded it is wild. BUT an ease came over me once the baby was home and cuddled up. Thank you for sharing this special moment. ❤

  • So many congratulations! Sons live their mama’s! Enjoy every single moment of this wonderful jounrey.

    • How exciting! Congratulations!!! Becoming a mom, parent, is such an awesome joy!

  • Emma,
    Your episode brought me to tears! I felt your emotion in every word. I am so excited for you! I am a new mom and I know that feeling of total disbelief and JOY when seeing that positive test. Also, being a boy mom is amazing 🙂

    Congratulations and sending lots of love to you and Trey! <3

  • Congratulations Emma!!!! I’m so excited for you! This podcast made me cry for joy. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Wishing you all the best through this pregnancy. I just had my baby girl and it’s magical being a mom.

  • OMG congratulations Emma!!! This is SO exciting 🙂 I’m also pregnant for the first time (due early May) and now it feels like I have a friend to go through the journey with. Yes, you’re my friends. It’s the little things 😅 I agree 100% that maternity clothes are not fun to shop for. I’m also frugal and don’t want to invest a lot of time and money into clothes I will probably only wear for 4 more months! Thank you for sharing this with all of us, and I wish you a healthy, happy, full term pregnancy!!

  • Yay! Thanks for being willing to share your news and your story. We became parents last year (me at 38 years old, him at 45 years old) after about a year of trying, and it’s just as great as we hoped it would be.

  • I have been meaning to email you guys to thank you for your podcast and the joy it’s brought me this last year (and helped me finally learn to run too!) and I cried the whole way through this episode. Sending you all the joy and love and positive energy from Northern Ireland! xxx

  • OMG!!! What a rollercoaster of emotions!!! I’m so so so happy for you, Emma!!! You’re gonna be a great mom, I’ve been following you girls since 2008 and I’m so excited for you, your story has moved me to tears! Thank you for sharing this great news with us all! Sending you lots of love! ❤️

  • Congratulations Emma, such amazing, exciting news! I can’t wait to see an Emma nursery. And I feel you on the maternity wardrobe. Being pregnant in quarantine meant that I was home in oversized T-shirts 90% of the time. I bought a few basic bodycon maternity dresses for when I did leave the house and spent my “big pregnant” months rotating them with a few chiffon kimonos to make them look like different pieces.

  • Emma! YAY!
    Honestly I bought one pair of maternity tights, three old navy maternity dresses and that’s all I wore. Rotate through your cardigans and you’re golden!

  • Nearly fell over out of sheer surprise when I saw this podcast title come up and of course immediately pressed play at 7:45am- emma your strength and joy really shines through in this episode. You owe nothing to us listeners and yet you give us a true intimacy and raw beauty. Congratulations are in order!!!

  • Congratulations Emma!!! This is wonderful news! I’m so happy you decided to share with us 🙂
    How did you share the news with Elsie!?
    Can’t wait to see you as a mom!

  • Emma, I have so much hope and happiness for you, Your news just made me cry happy tears and also bittersweet tears. Your support system is so special, you couldn’t be in a better circle of loving family and friends to walk this beautiful and bittersweet journey with. Baby boy is so loved and wanted, it’s obvious in your sweet post and podcast. Blessings to you and Trey!

  • So excited for you!! And I totally understand holding out on maternity clothes, but I predict you will change your mind. 😅 Especially the final month, I’m always like okay I need to go buy all new clothes even if it’s just three weeks of wearing them and I made it 8 months already.

  • Congratulations!! This is such amazing news, it warmed my heart to hear how happy and grateful you are!

    Just a note for anyone talking about the sex of their child—the chromosomes will tell you the sex, not the gender. Gender is merely an expression!

  • I’m so happy for you Emma! Wishing you nothing but the best! ❤️

    Elsie, congratulations on being an Aunt again! 😁

  • Congratulations Emma!
    I can relate so much! (really much, we also tried for 9 months and now are due in June :D)
    I’m looking forward to see the nursery!

  • Congratulations!! I have been concerned for you over the separation, my heart goes out to you. But I am super excited for you to be a mommy!!! You will be a wonderful mother. I have a son too! My baby is 35😜

  • Wow Emma – Congratulations. I had already been thinking and planning to send you a note saying how impressed I”ve been with how you’ve handled going through this realy tough and real season of life in the public eye. You have dealt with it and spoken about it with such grace, confidence, and self-assuredness – I’ve been really impressed. And then this news on top of that! I could tell you were nervous recording the podcast but your joy really shone through as well. I’m so happy for you and I’m so glad that no matter what happens, you feel loved and supported.

  • Congratulations Emma! I have been following your blog for years and so excited to hear you’re due in June! I am pregnant with my first and due 5 days after you!

  • I’m so so happy for you Emma! I separated from my husband last year, but I have a 7 year old daughter, and although it’s been extremely difficult of course, the mother child bond is such an amazing thing and the love is beyond anything. As hard as the timing is, its the most beautiful and amazing thing and I’m so happy for you. You and Trey will find the best way through for both of you, and whatever that looks like is no one else’s business!! 🙂 sending much love x

  • Congratulations Emma! I’m a single mom of 2 young kids and it’s honestly great – hard sometimes, but not as hard as I had the impression it might be. My kids’ dad and I also have a good friendship, live a couple blocks apart, and have regular family dinners, etc. and it’s really nice. Not everyone fully understands how our family works, but it works well for us (not perfectly, but well!). I know you are still figuring out your arrangements with Trey, but I also know that women in particular can sometimes receive pushback for taking an unconventional path, so I wanted to lend my vocal support whatever way things land. I’m rooting for you, being a parent to a kid of any gender is truly awesome and so fun.

  • I’m not done listening, but could NOT wait to say congratulations to you and Trey! I am SO happy for you! I didn’t have my first baby until age 36, after multiple miscarriages. That miscarriage fear is so real. But the joy you feel with every baby kick is just AMAZING! And hearing his voice the first time ahhh! Anyway! I could use 900 exclamation points right now! So happy for you!

  • Congratulations, Emma! Such great news. That baby boy is so lucky in so many ways. Also, would love to hear how Marigold and Nova reacted to your big news since you’re their superhero!

  • Emma, I just want you to know we are all sharing in your joy! I cried along with you on the episode. Truly so happy for you. My heart has been with you these past few months, and I don’t take the things you’ve chosen to share with podcast listeners lightly. Sending you and your family all the love. xoxo

  • I can hear the emotion and vulnerability in your voice. Thanks for sharing your joyful news. I’m looking forward to seeing your nursery prep posts.

  • I’ve been following ABM for a long time (probably since 2009, yikes!) and love hearing these personal updates. I totally respect your viewpoint on privacy, especially when there is pressure to share all the things. That being said, I teared up listening to your announcement! I’m so happy for you and am rooting you on from afar. From the bottom of my heart, wishing you the best in this new season. Also, June 4th is a great day to be born, it happens to be my birthday 🙂

  • Holy cow, Emma! My daughter (who is 8) and I listen to the pod and were so thrilled to hear your exciting news! What an incredible story you have had this year. Can’t wait to follow along on your mama journey and meet your little boy!

  • Ahhhhhhh! Emma! I’ve been reading for at least 13 years now and I’m so excited for you!!!!!! Congratulations to you and your family. When Elsie squeals it’s so cute. Thank you for sharing this season of your life.

  • Oh Emma! I can hear the emotions in your voice and I just want to give you such a happy hug! Your listeners care about you, and congratulations and thank you for sharing your story so beautifully:)

  • This is so wonderful and you sound so happy! Amazing news. I know you said no questions but I have a question which I only dare ask because I hope it’s not too personal, and can maybe be addressed in a future podcast. I am wondering what your experience has been like being pregnant during COVID; I have not seen any pregnant bloggers address this in detail. I know some pregnant women aren’t even allowed to bring partners to appointments and ultrasounds, though it sounds like that hasn’t been the case for you. Are you having (in-person) appointments as frequently as you might have in non-pandemic times? Have you been more worried about seeing people/feeling more isolated or has it been pretty much as it was before you found out you were pregnant? What discussions have you and your doctors/midwives had about potentially getting the vaccine? (really understand if you don’t want to open up that kettle of fish 🙂 ) And do you have any sense of what your delivery situation will be like? I completely understand if you don’t want to get into this, just curious because it’s hard to find info on this and it does seem to individual to areas of the country, etc. Again, congrats on your wonderful news. It’s a really bright spot in these dim times and your honesty is moving.

    • I also meant to say that i choked up listening to this. I feel like the universe is sending you something beautiful that you’ve always wanted in the midst of a difficult time, and that gives me a little more faith in the world. Much love to you, your families, and your little babe ❤️

  • Congratulations! What wonderful news. So happy for you both! Sending big hugs.
    Also Elsie saying “AWW EMMA” is 110% how I felt too.

  • I’m so happy for you, Emma! You’re always so sweet and the way you told your exciting news couldn’t be any different.

  • This is the BEST news! Congratulations Emma!! I’m so so happy for you! I totally cried when I saw the ultrasound picture on Instagram 😉

  • “Elsie: … Leave her alone or I’ll kill you.” As a big sister, that is exactly what I would say to protect my lil sis… forever <3 This episode I cried with you, I laughed with you… Many, many congratulations for Emma, who I found thanks to the podcast, is a kindred spirit, so I totally understand the fear to let your heart go there. And I am so happy for you, that now you let this happiness and joy in.

  • This is the best news!!! So so crazy happy for you, Emma. My son is 9 months old and he is just our best little guy. It gets better and easier as each month goes by. I too didn’t love pregnancy, as I was also extremely worried after 18 difficult months of trying to conceive. Enjoy decorating the nursery and dreaming of who your little babe will be. It’s such a special time. Everlane and Uniqlo are great for comfy basics that you can wear during pregnancy and a few months after giving birth. Your clothes will most likely collect some stains from milk, formula, and other fun stuff so you may not want to wear much of your pre-baby wardrobe for a while anyway. Love this picture of you here…you’re going to be an incredible mom!!!

  • Emma, I’m so happy for you! Yayy! What great news for this Monday! I heard from you so much of how I felt when I was pregnant — once again I am in tears in the best of ways listening to your podcast, haha. Anyway just had to say congrats!! : )

  • Wow, what great news! Thank you for sharing this with us! Congratulations and all the best. You’ll do great as a mom! Love, J

  • Hooray! I am so excited for you to meet your beautiful son! Currently nursing my newborn son and drying my eyes from listening to this beautiful episode! 💕

  • Congratulations What an incredible time for you Your son will bring both you and your husband(Ex) so much joy Take extra care of yourself and enjoy the process of becoming a mom

  • Emma! Thank you for sharing such beautiful and personal news with us. I definitely 100% cried during this episode, a first for me with your podcast (I’ve listened to every episode). So so happy and excited for you and Trey. You will be a phenomenal mom! Your son is so lucky. Big congratulations to you and the whole family!

  • Oh my gosh Emma I am SO HAPPY for you!! So many things you said I relate to so hard, I’m 12 weeks now and things definitely didn’t feel real until seeing the ultrasound. Also the “morning” sickness is a joke! I’m nauseous all the time so you’re helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel right now so I hope it ends soon! I cannot handle jeans right now I just ordered four pairs of leggings cause that’s all I wanna wear too. Sending you so much love and can’t wait to see all the DIYs you come up with for your awesome son!

  • Emma, all the congrats!💜 I’m so happy for you. I nearly cried hearing the joy in your voice, you’re going to be an amazing mom.

  • CONGRATULATIONS EMMA!
    I am 27 weeks pregnant with a boy! First time mom as well.
    I highly recommend you look for “June 2021 Due Date” babies group on Facebook and join that so you have women going through the same thing at the same time as you. It’s the only reason I get on Facebook now, I love my April group.

    As far as your miscarriage fears, I also didn’t realize that once I got pregnant I would worry everyday about losing him. What has finally helped is feeling him daily. He doesn’t kick really hard yet but at 24 weeks I finally started feeling him a little bit everyday. Now I feel him a lot everyday. His movements bring SO much peace.

    Target has the best over the belly jeans and leggings are good too. Target online has more maternity options than the store as well. I have gotten a few things from Old Navy as well.
    I also was not excited to buy a lot of maternity clothes because of them not being something I can wear for long. If you think you will breastfeed at all, then buying tops that are maternity and nursing makes me feel better about buying it, since I will get more use of it.

    I don’t really have a theme for my nursery. It is kind of eclectic. I do have some Emily Winfield Martin prints I am hanging and they are some of my inspiration.

  • When I found out I was pregnant after a long period of disappointment, I hd never felt on the precipice of hope as much as I had during that time in my life. Other things in my life were very hard at the time, and continued to be through the newborn phase and beyond, but my hope was transformed into wild, boundless joy. As a writer, I am also impressed by your commitment to words—that will be so fun to share with your son. Being a boy mom to a two year old now is the moon and the stars—he likes to stroke my hair at night and sing to me (and I just ask myself—how did I get so lucky?). Congrats, and thanks for sharing your story. It was beautiful.

  • Congrats to Emma! I also wanted to thank both of you for being a bright spot during the pandemic. I commute 40 minutes each way to my job as a high school English teacher, and Mondays are my favorites because I get to hear your new podcast. Most of the time I listen to news, and I arrive to school in a terrible mood. But on Mondays, you two make my day. I know it hasn’t been an easy year for either of you, but thank you so much for giving me something to think about other than the awfulness that seems to be everywhere. 🙂 (Plus, I live in Lawrence, Kansas, so I really enjoy hearing your stories about the Midwest. I’ve been to Springfield so many times.)

  • How wonderful! Congrats! I don’t know you but I’m so happy for you!
    I had my first child right after turning 35, too.

  • Hearing the utter joy & happiness in Emma’s voice as she told her story was beautiful to hear. Congrats Emma (& Trey too!). I’m a mum to 3 boys, & 1 girl, & it’s the very best thing ever xx

  • Congratulations Emma! Also, Elsie, you’re such a big sister (so sweet to hear you being all protective 10′) Go girls!

  • OMG, I’m expecting too, we’re like 3 weeks apart in our pregnancies! How cool. I’m so excited for you and I know exactly how you felt about not believing the positive pregnancy test haha. And about maternity shopping. I normally love shopping but I hate the idea of buying things I’m not going to be wearing for years down the road. *sigh* Best wishes for you and the baby!

  • No way–what a wonderful surprise! Very excited for you, Emma. What a wonderful start to a new year!!! XOXOXO

  • I cried like a baby at your announcement! Thank you for sharing. I know the feeling of being so so happy for something even though difficult things are happening. All of the good wishes to you and your baby. You have so many exciting days ahead of you.

  • Congratulations Emma! This baby is going to have more love and support than most people can even dream of! Mad props in keeping your relationship on the DL. There’s so much going on right now and circumstances keep changing, so privacy is key! So much joy is coming your guys’ way with this baby. Also, congrats on Elsie becoming an aunt again! What a joy for all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc.! I have a toddler nephew and he’s one of the biggest lights in all of his aunts’ and uncles’ lives. Can’t wait for more Aunt Camp. Yay!

  • Congratulations, Emma! It is clear your precious boy is already so loved. The three of you will have a beautiful family, in whatever form is right for you xxx

  • OMG!!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! I have goodebumps just by reading the caption! I don’t have the time at the moment to listen to the podcast but I’m so thrilled! Congratulations Emma!!!! That’s fantastic news! I’ve an ABM for almost 12 years so, it’s been a long journey with you, guys. Can’t wait to listen to it. Wishing you the best! Love, from Greece. xx

  • Congratulations Emma! Wonderful news, you will be awesome parents and your son will be surrounded by family who love him. I love how respectful you are of both Trey and your son, I think that is pretty special. Hope it all goes really well!!

  • Congrats Emma! I’m due June 6 and it’s been a wild ride for us too, sending you all the good baby juju ❤️❤️❤️

  • Congratulations, Emma! My boys have made me laugh nonstop, every day, since like day 15 of life. I hope it’s the same for you!

  • Oh my goodness Emma! Congratulations! I am over the moon for you. Being a mom is all it’s said to be–I love it. I have 2 little girls (Nova and Marigold’s age) and one baby boy (13 months). Boys are so fun and different, so it will be fun to have him play with his older girl cousins! Boys and girls are great in their own ways–wishing you a comfortable rest of your pregnancy (I was nausious my first 3 months too, only with my boy, but the rest was a breeze!). So happy for you!! And I love the wallpaper!

  • Huge Congratulations to you Emma and Trey, such exciting times ahead for you both. You will be an awesome Mum and I’m sure Elsie’s gorgeous girls will be proud and protective cousins. Your little boy will be so loved by you both and your families 💙💙💙

  • Just want to add my voice to the chorus of YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYS. So excited for you and Trey and your whole family! Thanks for sharing this good news that we all need in the midst of this craziness.

  • Is it weird that I teared up while you talked about how happy you are?? You seem like a friend- ha ha, and I can’t wait to follow along virtually on this new adventure. Oh, and as a fellow boy mom (two little guys after years of trying), I can honestly say that little boys are so sweet!

  • Congratulations! While I am a newer podcast listener, I have now listened to every episode. Thank you for sharing your world with us. This episode made me tear up and I am here for all the baby things!

  • Congratulations! I am so excited for you. Wishing you happiness and health on your pregnancy journey.

  • Congratulations!! So very happy for you, wishing you lots of love & happiness. Praying for you to have a healthy pregnancy. You will be a wonderful Momma just like your own Mom. God Bless You Always.

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy! That is so exciting, and it’s so good to hear your openness about co-parenting. There are so many types of families out there – the sky is the limit!

    Just onnnne quick hand up from your queer and trans readers: gender and sex are two different things. I hope you’re open to the idea that your “boy” might not be a boy in the end. 🙂 <3

    • Thank you! And yes, I misspoke. I should have have said sex instead of gender. And for sure! If he tells me to change what pronouns he goes by one day I will proudly support him (or her, or they). Thanks for reading and bringing your perspective. Much love to you friend!

  • CONGRATULATIONS!!! I’m so excited for you! Being a mom is so amazing.

    Also, those were so Elsie questions versus readers questions 🤣. I’m here for it though!

  • Congratulations Emma and Trey!!
    Babies are wonderful news.
    So excited for your family, and extended family. You are a wonderful Aunt and will be a SUPER Mom.

  • Congratulations Emma. I’m so happy for you, your family and Trey. It’s a tough and beautiful time all in one for you! I want to address the Muumuu comment. My mother was pregnant with me in 1986. She had short cropped hair with a perm, big rimmed 80s glasses and basically wore a MuuMuu the whole time. My mother is a very beautiful woman (especially at 21 when she was pregnant)…..I can’t stress enough how pretty she was…….but the pictures I have of her pregnancy……….hideaous! She looked like a red neck mess and frankly, she looked obese with that muumuu (in comparison to two years later when I was 2 and she looked like a top model in bikinis!). Please, don’t do this to yourself. do the bodicon dress or A line, be cute for your future you who’ll look at those pics 35 years from now and think “Why did I wear a muumuu!!!” (and I’m kidding just a little here. you wear whatever makes you happy…….I’m just saying my mother regrets her choices very much ;p). As for the separation and potential divorce, you do what feels right. I was 2 years old when my parents separated. I have no memory of them together so I never had that “child from divorce” feeling growing up. I had two household, two families who loved me very much, two loving parents who are still very proud of who I am now at 34. Your son will be a happy little one with great parents and family. Enjoy the pregnancy, hope all goes well.

  • Emma,

    Heartfelt congratulations on your pregnancy! I am so happy for you. It is such a wild journey, especially when you struggle to conceive for many months. My husband is a cancer survivor and the intensive chemo treatment had an effect on his fertility. We tried to get pregnant for a long time and finally had to go through a fertility clinic. I remember the disappointment and occasional bouts of crying every time my period would start. When you do finally get a positive test, there’s just such an unreality to it, mixed with joy and so many other emotions. And then the months of fear about miscarrying arrive. I remember almost obsessively worrying about kick counts once I hit the end of my second trimester, even though the risk of pregnancy loss/complications is low at that point in time.

    Be good to yourself over the next several months! Baby boys are such a joy and a delight–they can also be pure, cuddly mayhem–just like all newborns and very young babies! Also, totally relate to not wanting to buy a bunch of maternity clothes. I just did not want to spend the money on a large collection of short-term items. Pretty much got by with just a couple of pairs of maternity leggings, four shirts, and two work-appropriate dresses. It was like a super condensed maternity capsule wardrobe! If anything, limiting my maternity wardrobe cued me into the value of a much smaller wardrobe for post-pregnancy. Once you’re a mother, the amount of energy you have for wardrobe decisions pretty much disappears.

  • Hi Emma! I wanted to share a heartfelt congratulations and say how normal it is to be fearful of miscarrying. I had a horrible, wouldn’t-wish-it-on-my-worst-enemy miscarriage and when I was pregnant again I was fearful and anxious. I felt through those feelings for a few weeks and then decided that I couldn’t do my entire pregnancy feeling that way. I committed to my little baby boy that I would be the best mama I could be no matter how long we got to spend together. I hoped that we would meet face-to-face (and we did, he was born in August of 2019 and is such a joy!) but from that day forward I made a choice to pick joy every day. Even when I felt afraid or anxious or uneasy. I chose joy.

    Sending you so much love and light during this incredible journey Emma. There’s no better mama for your baby than you – he chose you!

    • Congratulations Emma! ❤️ I cried so hard while listening to this episode! I am so happy for you and believe you will be amazing mum.

      Greetings from Italy,
      Mari

  • Emma!! I’ve been thinking about you and Trey since you announced you were separating, and praying hard for you to have comfort through that impossibly hard time. 💙

    THIS NEWS IS SO EXCITING! So, so happy for you to be a Mama.

  • This is soooooo exciting!!!!!! Congratulations and so much love to you with the crazy circomstances and crazy time we are living in generally right now. My son was born July 2020, and it’s been a wonderful and strange thing to be able to be home with him during this past 6 months due to the pandemic. I’m sure everyone will be giving you baby stuff suggestions, but my biggest recomendation is a good baby carrier and my fave (we tried so many!) is the Ergobaby Embrace. It’s comfortable for me and him, and I can get it on and off all by myself while holding him! (Which is key when at home on my own.) Anyway, so much love to you. Can’t wait to follow along with your journey.

  • Congratulations Emma!!! I am so happy to hear this happy news! I broke down listening to your podcast because it was so relatable… I went through something very similar with my marriage and the timing of my pregnancy…. My baby boy is now 3 and the light of my life…. I am very familiar with the strange mixture of sorrow and joy! I will be thinking and praying for you in the days ahead… You seem like such a strong and sweet person, and this little boy is so lucky to have you for a mama.<3

  • Just so very happy for you, Emma! Listening to you share your heart about feeling so much joy in a time that is also so difficult is something that resonated with me. One of my favorite books is Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. It is a beautiful book of stories from her life about how we can experience both the hard and the good simultaneously. I don’t like to re-read books but this one is one I keep going back to. Love y’all’s podcast so much! It’s a joy each week.

  • I always admire how you both set boundaries in your lives! I love your nursery plant decor idea. I didn’t really do a theme at all in either of my son’s nurseries and it’s something I have never regretted. Their rooms have just evolved naturally with them. So I think a plant theme is such a great idea. And more power to you on not buying many maternity clothes! I didn’t really gain that much weight with either of my kids but the shape of my body changed so dramatically that there was no wearing my old clothes. Actually, I was never able to wear many of pre-preg clothes again despite losing the baby weight as my ribcage and hips just permanently stayed wider! But other friends wore their same clothes the whole time and I was always secretly a bit jealous of that.

  • Emma, congratulations!!! You’re going to LOVE being a mom! I just had a baby girl on Dec 26 and it’s honestly the absolute BEST! I was never even baby person, but this little angel has put me over the moon. I am so, so happy for you. You’ve got so much love and happiness coming your way!!! : )

  • Yey, Congrats! I’m a boy mom too. I’m also a step mom to both a boy and a girl! Children are both fun, a blessing and will make you feel crazy at times! You got this!

  • CONGRATS EMMA!!!!!! I’m a boy mom of two boys and one girl! We are a sporty family, my daughter is very sassy and girly but we all LOVE going to sporting events and my boys both have played lots of sports. My only advice is to get him involved in sports as a little guy…soccer, basketball, tball. We have LOVED meeting sports families and literally gaining extended family through those teams. My youngest has been on various baseball teams so I’ve grown a big circle but has mostly been with some of the same families through soccer by staying with the same club for 9 years. My husband is battling Stage 4 Colon Cancer and these sports families from my oldest (21) son’s years playing to recent and current team have circled the wagons and supported us in so many ways! I think that will be a great circle for you and your family in the coming years. I realize this is WAY premature but hope it helps you dream about days at the ball park 🙂 Sending you all of the love and prayers for a smooth pregnancy. Best of luck with all THE things, you are strong and doing a great job!

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